The talking stage is weird. You meet a new person and probably are texting- a lot.Yet, you don’t really know if it’s going anywhere or if “it” is actually going to turn into something more. Its confusing… and that’s ok. Here’s a little guide to getting through the talking stage.
1. Ask questions!
This is a time for you to learn about the other person who you could potentially start a relationship with. Find out who they are, and if you could see yourself being with them.
2. Equally talk
Make sure both of you are equally talking during this stage. It shouldn’t be all one sided. You should both be wanting to learn about each other and enjoy talking to the other person.
3. If you’re not feeling it, let the other person know
If you don’t think it’s going anywhere let the other person know. It’s better to let them down easy in advance than before any feelings develop. Also if you just try to ignore them and they don’t get the hint they are just going to turn into an annoyance for you. Trust me, being honest and upfront will be better for both people in the long run.
4. Make sure it’s not too short or long
Talking to someone for only two weeks before a relationship is probably too short. You can’t possibly get to know someone in that short amount of time. However if it’s been a year and you’re still in the talking phase… you probably won’t even get out. By a year you should definitely know if you want to be in a relationship with this other person. From my own personal experience as well as what I’ve heard from friends, anywhere between 3-6 months is a good time to talk and get to know the person before a relationship.
5. If it’s going well plan things to do
If you enjoy talking to the other person and see it going somewhere, plan dates and go out. There are such things as casual dates that can just test if you enjoy the other person’s company in different settings. Go bowling or out to eat somewhere casual, and see what it leads to.
6.Don’t be afraid of a fight
As long as it’s nothing major, fighting actually shows that the other person cares. If everything was happy and perfect all the time someone probably isn’t putting in enough effort or just isn’t really invested. So don’t let a little argument scare you off- it’s perfectly normal.
7. Try not to overthink it
While you definitely are going to overthink everything at the beginning of a relationship, try not to. You can’t control how the other person will feel so just go with it and see where things go. You both are going to be concerned during this uncertain stage but as time progresses it will become clear what you should do. So don’t overthink it too much and just have fun getting to meet and learn about this new person.
The talking stage is so important, especially with college “hookup culture” in full swing. You’ll get to learn about the person and what they want in a relationship. Even if you’re talking doesn’t end in a relationship you will have most likely learned a lot about yourself too. It will help you learn about the type of person you want to be in a relationship with. Overall, the talking stage is extremely important and shouldn’t be rushed. Really get to know the person, and know what you’re getting into before starting any relationship!