Picture this: you are in an amazing relationship. You and your significant other spend most of your time together and you are in love. Both of you enjoy being together and you are ready for the next step: moving in together. At this point, you both have probably realized there is a lot more to living together than you initially thought – lots of strange habits, talking about money, and being with someone all day, every day. Moving in with your boyfriend can be a challenge. Like most situations living with a significant other for the first time can pose multiple pros and cons.
Finding someone who has been there is always very helpful. I interviewed Samee Kirzeder, who has been living with her boyfriend for almost six months, about the perks and disadvantages to moving in with a significant other.
Madison Freeman: What have you learned since moving in with your boyfriend?
Samee Kirzeder: I’ve learned that the first six months of living together can be the hardest six months (so far) of a relationship.
MF: Is there any stigma surrounding with living with your college boyfriend?
SK: My boyfriends still a senior in college, and I’m working full-time, and we faced a lot of adversity from Allan’s parents. I think there were many different factors going into them being uncomfortable with us wanting to move in together before he graduated, but I know one of the biggest reasons was because Allan has many ambitions after graduation and all of them require him being successful in college. I think most people, especially parents, tend to think that living with a significant other while still in college will be a distraction more than anything else.
MF: How has your relationship changed since you guys moved in together?
SK: We’ve definitely gotten closer in some positive ways because when we moved in together we needed to get to a whole new level of communication. At first, we were very frustrated with one another because it was hard for us to be open about what we wanted or needed from each other without sounding irritated or annoyed.
MF: Would you advise college students or young adults to live with their significant others?
SK: I would say wait until both of you are on solid ground in terms of work. I discovered six months into living with my boyfriend that I do not love my job and I need to figure my life out on my own. He’s been entirely understanding of that, but it will be hard to revert back to living separately, in separate cities.
MF: What would you say are the biggest pros and cons of living with your boyfriend?
SK: The biggest con is that it is a lot easier to fight with someone who’s so close all the time. Things that wouldn’t upset you, suddenly upset you. The biggest pro is that you always have a hot best friend of the opposite sex.