1. The Moocher
This is the guy who is constantly skipping class, laying in his room playing video games, and seems to add no value to society. He asks to copy your notes, borrow your homework because he “has been trying for hours and just doesn’t understand”, and promises you can use his work any time (even though you would never want to). You will find one of these in every class, and hopefully, you will learn to say no to these guys.
2. The Lehigh “Classic”
He is the rich, elite frat star that you will meet at every party you go to. He is the one that “everyone goes to for a good time” and has hundreds of “well when I was in high school I used to…” stories because he clearly doesn’t do anything cool now. He’s the guy that is always after freshman girls, but claims he is just looking for his “tinderella”.
The one EVERYONE in your class knows either because he has written in your class facebook group a million times or he loves to talk in class. He seems to want to be a part of every group at Lehigh because he runs for class president, tries to persuade you at Upper to join his club, and makes an announcement during lecture about his live performance on the front lawn. He drives you and everyone else insane and you avoid his overly friendly greetings throughout the halls.
4. The Foreigner
This guy is really into graphic T’s, ridiculously sized cell phones, and Hollister. He typically has very poor or uncomfortable social skills and does not understand personal boundaries. Often way too touchy and doesn’t understand that saying you both live in M&M doesn’t deserve a high five.
5. The Premature
He deserves this name for multiple reasons. He’s been at Lehigh for a week and thinks he owns the place. He tells you how many girls he’s been with, how many famous people he’s friends with, the reason why he isn’t on a professional sports team, let alone Lehigh’s team, is due to personal choice, how his parents have already set him up for an internship so he is basically the next Donald Trump, and just why he is the best at pretty much everything. The Premature believes he is God’s gift to the Earth and will always let you know that.
6. The Athlete
God didn’t create one of these at your high school. You start to question where this species came from, how you could have ever settled for your 5’8 Call of Duty ex-boyfriend, and how you can have one. He is twice your size, great to look at, (especially when he comes from the shower to his dorm room), and you ask him all about his sport without having a clue what you, or he, is talking about.
7. The Conductor
The boy on your floor that tries to take personal responsibility for your hall. He organizes floor pregames, spreads gossip and tries to be friends with everybody. He knows where the parties are, which sorority sisters you should talk to, and which frat everyone will be in. You will probably have a regrettable night with him, but who hasn’t?
8. A Professor’s Worst Nightmare
He challenges everything the Professor says and doesn’t care who he pisses off. No one wants him in their group, nor does anyone want to sit next to him in class. He makes you roll your eyes several times a day, and will make you say to your friend “Did he really just do that?”
9. The Upperclassman
This is the guy that will make you think this is what your future husband should be like. He already has an internship that will lead him into his job, he doesn’t drink Franzia, and he’s not at every party. He’s the definition of cool and mysterious in your eyes, and you tell all your friends about him. Although he probably won’t text you back, you still send the “accidental” drunk text to see what he’s up to.
10. The One You Can’t Live Without
Either because he’s your boyfriend, gay best friend, or long-lost brother, you tell him everything. You go to him for advice, a good time, or just for a Netflix binge. You two get along like nothing you’ve ever experienced before. You can be goofy in front of him, have tons of inside jokes, and he probably knows when you’re just being hormonal. You’ve cleaned up his puke and he has listened to you drunk cry, but it’s okay, because you mean as much to him as he does to you. You have some of your best college memories with him and you don’t know how you would get through Lehigh without him.