‘All guys are cheats'. ‘Girls already have their weddings planned’. ‘Guys are scared of commitment’. Any of these sound familiar? These are just a few of the stereotypical views that I hear being thrown around far too much. Is it any wonder that some people don’t want a relationship when they’re told such rubbish? So, that’s why this week, my flat mates and I decided to sit down and discuss which myths really are just mythical, and which ones perhaps do contain some truth...
First, we decided to tackle the big issue of commitment. The belief seems to be that boys are terrified of the big c word and girls just can’t wait to trap their man down, right?
Wrong! I’ve found that to be the complete opposite in reality. All guys I know seem to really want to find that special girl and can’t wait to settle down and find a wife! It's us girls who are the real commitment-phobes; the mention of a shared house, marriage and babies can sometimes leave us running!
For some reason, guys seem to have a very unfair reputation of being cheats! However, this is completely ridiculous and there’s no logic in stereotyping guys in this way. Being faithful is all about how well a relationship works and purely depends on an individuals’ morals and choices. Thus, girls are just as likely to be unfaithful as much as boys are. In the relationships that I know, it tends to be that once a boy is in love or likes a girl enough, then he is completely devoted to her. Whereas a lot of girls I know may well be faithful, but still tend to believe in the ‘no harm in just looking’ rule.
Feelings & emotions:
This is another biggy. The typical belief being that guys are very closed and don’t like talking about their feelings. However, perhaps yet another myth! Guys can be surprisingly open with their feelings, even unexpectedly soppy sometimes, using pet names or sending the odd drippy text – but don’t get me wrong, us girls aren’t complaining! It’s a very nice surprise every now and again! I have found that girls are surprisingly more scared of admitting their feelings, often scared of becoming too vulnerable.
In the bedroom:
Guys are just completely sex obsessed and they can’t stop thinking or talking about sex right? Wrong! A definite myth. In all the relationships I know, the girls (myself included) do not stop talking about sex, whether it be swapping tips or funny stories; whereas, the guys are actually really respectful. It seems guys may be open when discussing one night stands, but when it’s girlfriends, it’s a completely different story. Another common belief is that guys get bored easily and crave adventure – but yet again, I find that it always tends to be the girls who suggest experimenting in the bedroom.
Another debatable myth surrounds libido. I always hear that boys have very high libidos, apparently much higher than girls. However, most girls I know can definitely keep up with their boyfriends, often leaving the boys struggling to keep up with them!
A final belief in this area surrounds porn. But unfortunately, this one is definitely true! Girls, I’m afraid that boys will always watch porn, no matter how good you are, so just don’t take it personally.
Making the effort:
I think the belief here is that once a guy gets the girl, then they soon stop making the effort, whereas the girls carry on trying to impress. I’d argue that overall, it’s a bit of both. Girls do sometimes make the effort to look good and wear nice clothes (and underwear if the guy’s lucky!), but I also know we can become far too lazy and all-too-quickly the shaving stops, the make-up stops and we start to practically live in our pyjamas. However, isn’t it a good thing that both people in the relationship become that comfortable together?
I’ve also discovered that guys sometimes make more effort than we give them credit for. For example, not only might they save wearing their girl's favourite aftershave just for when they see them, but guys even make the effort in many other ways too. For instance, guys can be surprisingly good at remembering lots of important things that we may have mentioned when we thought they weren’t even listening; such as what our favourite box of chocolates are, or more important things like our birthdays and if we’re really lucky even our anniversary dates. So, the claim that boys aren’t capable of being thoughtful is yet another myth!
Making the first move:
I’m sure we all know that the guy has to make the first move right? Hmm, well I’m no longer sure this is necessarily the case. Personally, I’ve let plenty of decent guys and chances slip away by stubbornly refusing to make the first move. That was however only until I met my current boyfriend, when I shamefully admit I basically pounced on him – how about that for making the first move?! Us girls do have to remember that guys aren’t always as confident as they may seem and they sometimes need us to at least show we’re interested – they’re not mind readers! I can certainly say I don’t regret making the first move one bit.
Now that we’re in the 21st century, there is surely no need to even mention the suggestions that being in a relationship means that as a girl you belong to your man. As everyone (hopefully) knows by now this is, of course, complete rubbish. However, this need for possession stems from a man’s jealousy, which arguably there is still some truth in. I know some boyfriends who can’t help but get jealous and all this ever causes is arguments in a relationship. Although, I also know that once most boys trust a girl, they soon control their jealousy, realising there is no reason for them to feel threatened by other guys when their girlfriend has chosen to be with them instead. On the other hand, there are also some boys who just don’t seem to have a jealous bone in their body. I have one friend who claims her boyfriend’s so laid back that he’s nearly falling over; he even lets other guys buy her drinks on nights out just to save himself money!
A woman’s job was once just to cook and clean. However, as we’re living in modern times this has changed right? Or has it? Personally when it comes to cleaning I pretty much have OCD so I definitely stick to the stereotype in this sense. Although, in the majority of other relationships I know this is still the case too. But with cooking I’d say things have definitely changed! It seems to be a lot more mutual in most relationships now. I hate to admit it, but it's my boyfriend who does all the cooking in our relationship since he is so much better at it than me – even though that’s not hard to beat!
A further stereotype is that boys are expected to pay. This has perhaps balanced out to some extent, with more relationships splitting costs nowadays. However, unfortunately for the boys, us girls definitely still love to be treated like a princess and expect to be spoilt at least every now and again. It may be unfair but it’s simply nature that we want to be looked after and cared for, unfortunately regardless of whether or not the poor boy can afford it!
So does it really exist? Unfortunately, us girls seem to still believe man flu is just a rather pathetic myth, so don’t expect much sympathy from us! Despite this, we definitely still expect lots of sympathy, tea, hot water bottles, chocolate and cuddles when it’s our time of the month (which is definitely not a myth, and if you’re not stupid then you wouldn’t dare to suggest otherwise either!); so stock up on the chocolates boys!
So there you have it! The real relationship stereotypes revealed. I’m hoping I’ve not caused too much of a debate over these myths, and if you’re reading this with your boyfriend then I hope you’re still together by the end of this article!