Every relationship has its ups and downs, but it’s even harder to deal with these when you are also coping with a long distance relationship. Being at University means that many students are faced with the horrible ordeal of saying goodbye to their boyfriends or girlfriends with the knowledge that you may not see each other for a while. So how do you cope with distance? Here are my six top tips on how to cope with being in a long distance relationship.
1. Be spontaneous
A quick text saying ‘thinking of you’ or ‘I love you’ can really turn your partner’s day around. The spontaneity of a cheeky text shows the other that they are on your mind. Also, spontaneous trips to see each other (if they don’t live too far away) can mean the world to someone. However do make sure that they are free, otherwise this could end up being a disaster if you turn up and your other half has a big event that they just cannot miss out on! Sending each other surprise little treats in the post will also keep things fresh and alive.
2. Avoid excessive chatting; but don’t ignore
Although it is lovely to know that your other half is thinking about you regularly and they want to talk to you all the time, at the end of the day what do you have to talk about? Keep talking during the day to a minimum. This way when all your stress has accumulated by 9pm, you can have a wonderful long chat about everything that has been going on during your day. You may find then that you discuss topics in more depth instead of quickly by text. Discussion will help to build on the communication and trust levels within your relationship. If you can trust them when they’re not with you, then you won’t need a constant reminder that they’re thinking of you. Remember, they have their life to live as well. Especially if it’s their first year they will be focusing on meeting new people and getting settled in, so let them live it without you being a constant nag! And at the end of the day, Skype was made for long distance chats! So learn to love it!
3. Make sure you spend time together
Spontaneous trips to see each other aren’t enough. Make sure you set aside time to see each other on a regular basis. And when you do see each other, make the most of it! If you’ve had an argument that week, then get over it! You don’t want to ruin your weekend or few days together by holding an argument against each other. Also, go out and do something fun! Build memories together while you are together. Go out for a meal or a walk. Do something new! Building these memories together will help you when you’re feeling down whilst away from each other. You’ll remember the happy times when you’re together and it’ll be a distraction from being apart.
4. Sugar and Spice
Keeping things light and flirty during your relationship will help make sure you keep having fun even if you’re not together physically; so get your flirt on! One trick is to treat yourself to some new underwear and place it on the bed and take a picture. Send this picture to your boyfriend/girlfriend with a message saying, ‘cannot wait to see you again ;)’. You don’t want to reveal all by being in the picture as well. Let his imagination run wild! And when he sees you next, he will not be able to keep his hands off you. Just make sure you send the picture to the right number. You don’t want to accidentally send it to your Dad. Try and explain your way out of that one!
5. Accept the difficulties
Every relationship has its difficulties. Being in a long distance relationship you have to accept that you may end up arguing more than couples who live in the same place. When missing someone your emotions are running high and the smallest thing could set you off. Things will be said that you don’t mean or words will be misunderstood, but learn to accept this. It’s not the end of the world if you have an argument. Learn to forgive and forget. Don’t hold things against each other because it is so much harder to sort out when you are not in the same place and you can’t kiss and make up.
6. Live your life
The biggest tip for surviving a long distance relationship – Live your life! Yes, you may feel down due to missing your partner, but if you miss out on university life you may end up resenting them for it. Have fun (but not too much - you do want to stay in the relationship), and go and meet new people. Enjoy both aspects of your life; university and your relationship. If you are feeling happier in yourself then you will be happier when talking to your boyfriend/girlfriend. Happiness = less arguments. Simple maths really!