It’s hard to remember a time without the selfie. Was there ever a stage when your Facebook newsfeed wasn’t littered with pouting faces? But all good (debatable) things must come to an end and 2015 is the year we should bid farewell to the selfie. And no, we won’t be taking selfies at the funeral!
Number 1:
Time. Selfies take a lot of time. There’s finding the perfect angle, which isn’t going to give you a double chin, but is going to show off your new lipstick. Then there’s the editing stage; sifting through twenty photos that you can’t even tell the difference between any more, to find that perfect shot. This doesn’t even include the time you waste analyzing other people’s selfies! Didn’t you used to have a lot more free time? Yes, you did – remember? In those days before the selfie.
Number 2:
Snapchat stories. You wake up in the morning trying to waste some time before actually getting up, and turn to your phone. Ooh, ten new Snapchat stories. Oh, look who went out last night and took twenty selfies. And you were the lucky person who received every single one. Because the only thing better than not going out, is seeing a ton of selfies of other people’s nights out…
Number 3:
Bad memories. We’ve all been one of those people with a Snapchat story containing twenty selfies of us on a night out. But when we’re drunk, we’re liable to forget our best angle. Or, that having a picture eating a Big Mac isn’t the best idea. But the selfie is there to remind us and everyone we know, that yes we’re a total idiot.
Number 4:
Belfies. The selfie has spawned lots of evil offspring, but the belfie is arguably the worst. Did the world need another picture of Kim Kardashian’s bum, taken by herself? The answer is no. It especially didn’t need one of ex- Towie star Lauren Goodger. Where will it stop? The belfie needs to be put to bed.
Number 5:
Trout pout. Before the selfie, the trout pout was something that was only seen on a fish. And how great would it have been if things had stayed that way? The pout doesn’t look good on anyone, no not even you Lauren Goodger, and it needs to go.
Number 6:
Life envy. The people who take selfies who actually do have interesting lives. They’re almost worse than the boring people. Everyone hates revising for their exam while having to look at pictures of someone riding an elephant, hugging Zac Efron or snorkeling the Great Barrier Reef.
Number 7:
The selfie stick. These are not good for humankind. Now, it’s not just pictures of girls showing off their cheekbones, it’s whole families modelling their Christmas jumpers. It’s not original. It’s not cool and it’s definitely not an improvement on the selfie.
Number 8:
Selfies have ruined lives. You don’t believe me? Remember the unfortunate girl who forgot her dildo was in the background of her selfie. Yeah, her. Life ruined in one simple picture. Or the celebrity selfie gone wrong. This guy only had one opportunity to meet Khloe Kardashian and this is what he has to remember it.
Number 9:
Boring people. People who need to take a selfie at every possible moment. Selfies of them eating food, stuck in traffic jams, doing revision, the list is endless. You always know what they’re doing. Except, all you really have is a million pictures of them pulling the same face. No one, but no one, wants to see them! Why would they?
Number 10:
Inappropriate selfies. People taking selfies at funerals, concentration camps, driving or toilet selfies! There are even selfies taken by women in labor! Some moments were never meant to be shared.
Sources:
http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/awkward-celebrity-selfies-kanye-west-3189690
http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/lauren-goodger-instagrams-selfie-trout-2271712