To all the Non-Best Friends,
The holiday season is upon us which means a lot of things. For most people that means lots of food, lots of music, parties, and excitement. And for some people it means feeling extremely lonely. This article is for those people.
I’m about to do my very best to tell you why it’s ok to not be anyone’s best friend.
I get it. It sucks. It’s shitty. When you look at all the Instagram photos of things you weren’t invited to, when you send out texts that aren’t responded to, when you sit at home while everyone else parties with their “besties” IT HURTS. It feels like your insides are collapsing and you don’t even know if there’s enough motive to continue to try breathing through it. How could those feelings possibly be ok?
I won’t lie to you here. I’m not going to say it’s ok because you should learn to love yourself and that you can be your own best friend. I’d probably want to hit anyone who said that to me. I get it doesn’t make you feel any better. But what should make you feel better is the idea that you probably haven’t compromised yourself to please others. Because, let’s face it, the reason no one is your best friend is YOU. Maybe you aren’t fun enough. Maybe you aren’t drunk enough. Maybe you like to get work done before you play and other people just don’t want to wait for you.
Regardless of the reason you aren’t given the title “best friend” by anyone, I want you to own it. Because getting your work done is a great quality. Not drinking doesn’t make you a bad person. And honestly, who decides what fun is anyhow? By keeping these qualities, you’ve stuck to your guns. You’ve stayed true to yourself and not a lot of people can say that these days.
I’m not saying never change. If you wake up one day and realize you are a terrible person and even YOU can’t love you, then maybe work on some things. But there is a lot of merit and importance in being yourself. Which I suppose is a roundabout way of saying learn to appreciate yourself. And I’m sorry. Because I know it’s easier said than done. It will be a constant work in progress. There will be up days and there will be down days. But one day you might wake up content with who you are. Those Instagram posts won’t sting as much, those groups chats you weren’t included in won’t keep you up at night, and you’ll be ok to just be “friend”.
Go ahead and have your sad moments. It’s human, it’s natural. But then pick yourself up and find ways to spend time with yourself. Read if that’s your thing. Play music if that’s your things. Play a video game. Whatever it is you love, do it. Because that’s the only way you are going to keep getting up day by day. And one day you MIGHT have someone who sticks around long enough to actually be considered a best friend. You might have someone who calls you when they have exciting news or asks you to come over for no reason. Yeah, maybe that person will just be a significant other. But, hey, they can be great to have too!
Basically, with all of this I’m trying to tell you that I get it. That it is hard. But I want you to keep fighting. I want you to find the good things in being you. Because if you can do it, I can do it. And if we can do it together, hey, maybe we will be each other’s best friend.
(All gifs courtesy of Giphy.com)