So you thought you found your very own Mr. Big, your other half, your destined soul mate, and then 3 months pass and things in the relationship are getting shaky? Soon enough you find yourself alone, depressed and can’t even build up the energy to get out of your bed in the morning. It’s one of those knives in the chest feelings that you wouldn’t even wish upon your worst enemy.
Its okay, you are not alone. Everyone, both male and female, has gone through heartbreak at least once. But because our biggest fear as women is to be abandoned or alone, it hurts us even more. We are natural lovers and when we get denied of sharing that love, we blame ourselves and think it is not worthy. Not true.
Truth is, relationships are hard, especially in college. It is important to not blame yourself when things do not work out. It is not your fault. When you find that you blame yourself and try to change who you are because you think you are the problem, remember, not everyone is ready to be in a serious relationship at such a young age.
Sooner or later your real “Prince Charming” will come to the rescue. Just wait. For now, take the time to meet and learn about new people. Go out! Let your friends set you up on blind dates, talk to that cute guy you have been too nervous to confront, and enjoy! As you do this, you will also learn about yourself and come to conclusions as to what type of significant other you deserve—one who won’t break your heart.
Because getting heartbroken is inevitable, some mental spring-cleaning is necessary. There is no fast or easy way to get over a break-up but there are many things you can do for yourself that can help you progress.
Don’t sit in bed over-thinking everything that you did wrong. Stop over-analyzing! It’s easy to make yourself feel like the bad guy. There are always going to be unanswered questions and once that love is lost, the answer you are looking for may never appear. Do your best to get your mind off of these things.
If you insist on staying in bed, buy a journal, paint, or doodle. Whatever it is, find a way to get your mind off of things and start expressing your emotions! Writing down your thoughts will help a lot. Instead of calling your ex in the middle of the night and going off on a rant, write it down!
Also, remember that even though it is not a good idea to call your ex, it is good to keep him in mind. No matter how long the relationship was, your heart was involved. So, it is best to refrain from rebounds right after a break-up. Give yourself and your heart time to heal. Even though it may seem tempting to give in, it often leads to disaster and another heartbreak.
Once you realize things will never be the same, your mind will finally be at peace. Accept what has happened and move on. Don’t regret the times that you had, but take them as learning experiences for your future relationships. When you can remember the old times and laugh about it, you’ll know that you’ve reached a new level and are ready to move on.
Getting over a break-up is not an easy task but it is possible! Remember, "love's not time's fool" so just go with the flow and wait until love finds you, because it will!
http://www.rediff.com/getahead/2007/aug/31breakup.htm - 10 Tips to Get Over a Heartbreak
Le Moyne College Wellness Center
HC Le Moyne Staff