The average person apologizes about 2,920 times annually. To put things into perspective, that is approximately eight apologies daily and fifty-six weekly.
Now, don’t get me wrong, apologizing is important. Apologizing to someone shows that you understand that you were in the wrong in a particular situation. Being able to apologize demonstrates maturity and empathy.
The issue with apologizing though is that it has become a habit, especially for women. Studies show that women apologize more than men do. This does not mean that men are incapable of feeling remorse or lack maturity, it just means that women are more prone to feeling as if they are in the wrong.
In my leadership class, my professor acknowledged this concept and to say I experienced the “glass-shattering” effect is an understatement. Ever since that day I promised myself I would stop apologizing for unnecessary reasons, yet here I am months later finding myself still falling into the trap.
The amount of times someone has blatantly walked into me, yet I apologized is countless. I apologize when I encounter, as my friends and I like to call it an “awkward tango”, (when you and another person shuffle back and forth because you keep walking in each other’s way.) I apologize when my friend and I begin talking at the same time. I apologize when I cough too much in a quiet setting. I apologize for going to grab the same item as another person. I apologize when I almost bump into someone.
My best friend apologizes when she sneezes. She even apologizes for apologizing.
This needs to stop. Now.
Stop apologizing in situations where it isn’t necessary. If you are sitting in the middle of a couch taking up space, do not apologize and move over so you’re squished on the end. Do not apologize when someone else bumps into you. Do not apologize when someone says excuse me as they walk past you. We are apologizing for too much. We are constantly apologizing when we are not in the wrong.
I know it’s a hard habit to break, but in due time it will happen. Start paying attention when you speak. Really listen to what you are saying. Pay attention to the amount of times you say, “I’m sorry,” and ask yourself whether or not the apology was necessary. If it wasn’t, take a mental note and soon enough you will stop apologizing when you encounter that similar situation.