To be honest, I am hardly the person that should be writing tips on this topic because I, like most people, struggle with insecurities. That being said, I fight every day to love myself and think that all of you should too. So, I have made a short list of the simple things I do daily to encourage self-love.
1. Understand that it’s human.
Insecurity may be one of the most innately human qualities we have. We experience life through one perspective: our own. Therefore, it is easy to see all the beauty in others and little in ourselves. But this mentality is dangerous because of the same reason… we only have our perspective. Of course, you have others around you but when it comes down to it, the only one who controls your thoughts is you. You don’t get to see yourself the way others see you. Think about the way you look at your best friends, your significant other, or your family. It’s easy to see the beauty in them because you are the outsider to their perspective. Let yourself inside their perspective, and when you’re feeling insecure, try to remember that everyone feels insecure (even if they don’t act like it).
2. Write the good stuff down and leave the rest to rot.
When you find a quality about yourself that you like, write it down. Read it over and over. Accept it. Listen to how others speak about you, and instead of finding the flaws in their judgment, find the beauty. Therese J. Borchard of Psych Central puts it well when she says, “Someone says something shallow like, ‘I like your shoes.’ Sure, put it in there, with a note ‘I have good taste in shoes.’ Another person mutters, ‘Dude, thanks for listening.’ That goes in there as well: ‘I am a good listener.’” One of my best friends once told me, “You’re kind of intimidating at first because you know exactly who you are.” To this day, that’s still one of the most powerful and genuine compliments I’ve ever received. I wrote it down, and time-to-time I will flip back to that entry in my notebook and let it fill me up. She sees me as someone who is sure of herself. If that’s how one of my closest friends sees me, then I have no reason to doubt myself.
3. Document the highs.
Feeling particularly confident or sexy? Take so many selfies. You don’t have to share them (or do!). Even just having documentation of a day you felt good validates to yourself that you are beautiful. On a day you don’t feel so hot, scroll back through those selfies. See yourself the way you saw yourself that day. It may seem silly but this is something I’ve found helps me remain positive about my body and myself.
4. Support your girls (and let them support you too).
To extend off number three, share your selfies with your girls! Even if those pictures don’t feel Insta-worthy, allowing others to share in your self-love will surely boost that love even more. Two of my best friends and I share a private Instagram account just for pictures of ourselves. It feels good to express how you feel about yourself when you feel confident, and it’s the perfect way to constantly be showering your girls with support too. Be goofy, or be sexy, and serious. Either way, you’re reminding your friends that they’re beautiful while also battling your own insecurities.
5. Seek help if need be.
Obviously, insecurities aren’t always as simple as “tell yourself to love yourself and you will.” Many times, mental illnesses and anxiety get in the way of self-love. Remember that this is nothing to be ashamed of. Seeking outside help for inner strength does not make you weak. It makes you human. Therapists who specialize in cognitive behavioral therapy can be particularly helpful when dealing with insecurities.
Self-love is a daily struggle, and sometimes it feels like complete hell. But I hope these tips will hang in the back of your mind as little steps toward a bigger reality; your body is yours alone and that in and of itself is beautiful.