Life can be going so good, and then boom; you feel like damn can things get any worse. That is my reoccurring struggle every month. Classes were going good; life was good, and then boom. Ya girl was in her feelings, and not over a guy either, but over her future. I want to make a difference, but sometimes I find myself in a mood where I feel like nothing I’m doing is good enough. But this is typically related to college stuff. Stress, cry, repeat.
As the months progressed, I realized these emotions weren’t just coming from a failed test either. These emotions came because I thought about giving up. Something that I probably say at least once a semester, “imma just drop out”. I actually thought about it too. But then I realized I’m a semester away from my degree, where did I think I was going. My mind was getting the best of me and I didn’t like it.
This week I cried, I probably cry a lot in a semester (which is fine). However this cry was different; I usually cry and isolate myself. But this time I cried, and then I walked out my front door with a smile and went about my day.
Life can sometimes get the best of you. School is not for everyone, but if you try your hardest to finish, and you are unable, you must do something to change the behaviors. As I sit and write this article at 2 in the morning, I think my story this week is not to let fear stop you.
Fear of my future and fear of my grades is what I let get the best of me this week. However I don’t know why, I am not a 4.0 student; I won’t even say that I strive to be one. I’m striving to stay a float everyday and making an impact on at least one person. If you don’t get anything else from this article take this, don’t ever let your mind steal your joy and cry if you need too. Cry in public or in private but once you do it don’t let the thoughts out. Don’t ever go back to them again. I know it’s easier said then done and I’m not just telling you this I am also telling myself.
We are smart, we are our own kind of special, and we were not made to be like anyone else, we were made to have bonds with others. That’s what keeps us together. But we were not made to be the same, we all can think alike, but we will all make our marks differently.