Cancer
To some this is just a disease, taught in health class.
To others, it is a disease that has harmed or even taken someone from their life.
To me, it is one of the worst things on this planet.
Cancer is the thing that has taken not only one person from my life, but three wonderful people from my life far too soon. When you’re young, it’s hard to understand what cancer is, and what is going on around you. But when you live with someone battling cancer and going through treatment, you understand a lot, maybe even more than you should. When you get older, and you know the signs, it’s alot harder because you see the cycle start to take place and slowly take away someone you love.
At 8 years old, I noticed my grandmother going to the doctors now more than ever. I noticed her wearing a bandana because she lost her hair. I noticed her exhaustion due to the treatments she was going through. I noticed her go from one of the most independent human beings to come into my life, to needing someone to walk her to the bathroom because she had become so weak she couldn’t do it on her own.
At 12 years old, I was struck again by the heartbreak of hearing another loved one was diagnosed. I didn’t see my grandfather very often, but when I did, It felt like being hit by a truck, seeing him so fragile, less energetic. The shenanigans he once pulled and the silly phrases he once said became almost too much for him to do.
At 14 years old my world had crumbled; my other grandmother had revealed that she had breast cancer. My father’s mother was the typical grandmother you hear about. She never let me leave unhappy or with an empty stomach. She took us on vacations and was the kind of person who brought happiness the minute she walked into a room. Going to mom-moms was a treat, and I love that woman with every piece of my heart.
Aside from the hurt, I saw the strength in all of their eyes as they battled this disease. All of them still smiled as much as they could and laughed a little harder. They took every moment and treasured it, because they knew their moments could be over quicker than they knew it. They loved and they loved hard with every beat of their heart.
The loss still hurts me some days, just like any other loss you may experience, but knowing they spent their lives living it for the moment makes coping easier for me. They all were happy and are now at peace and I think that’s what makes me happiest. Cancer may have taken their physical presence but their spirit and happiness is still with me, even years later.