It sounds like the perfect scenario: you find a super attractive guy and, good news, he’s really into you! You start off slow, just some flirty texting conversations and a daily snapchat to keep the streak alive, but you find yourself wanting something more. Eventually, your texts turn into face-to-face conversations and things are going REALLY well. However, you—or maybe him, or maybe both of you—are not really feeling a relationship right now. Those are a lot of work and you want to enjoy college (or wherever you are in life) as a sexy, single, ready-to-mingle individual. The boundaries are drawn and you’re both on the same page: all the benefits of a relationship without any of the “work.”
To some, this may seem like a very casual and low-key affair, but FWBs can high-key mess with your relationship mentality. If you think about it, a true FWB relationship can end in pretty much one of two unhealthy ways: 1) Either both of you—or worse, just one of you—falls for the other (in a more than friends way), or 2) one of you becomes emotionally attached while the other loses interest. Basically, the only positive to a FWB relationship is the “B”—the benefits.
The fact of the matter is repeated sexual encounters with the same person will more than likely result in someone forming emotions. Although it doesn’t always end that way, there’s a high probability someone will catch the feels and get their feelings hurt if they aren’t mutual. That being said, there is a HUGE difference between a hookup, a one night stand and a FWB. How you choose to quench your sexual thirst is solely up to you, and safety should always be your number one priority. Just know that by keeping your FWB desires at bay, you’re also protecting a healthy relationship mentality. Don’t get caught up in the moment just because someone is willing to offer you sex/cuddles/everything in between. Spending that much time with someone is bound to create an emotional tie eventually.
Life is way too short to waste time waiting for someone to give you a booty call. Trust me, you are worth more than that and someone out there will value you for your personality far more than for what you have to offer physically. FWBs will (more likely than not) hurt you more than they will ever help you. It’s nice to have someone to count on to please you for awhile, but eventually, the excitement and thrill will wear off, especially if clear boundaries are not drawn. The most important thing to remember if you’re considering a FWB relationship? That whole “friendship” part will never be the same again.