All right, lets face it ladies… we’ve all been dumped. We’ve gone through that time when we cry, eat, scream, complain, beg, and cry some more. We never really know the right way to go through a break up, but I feel that after being dumped so many times, I’ve worked out quite a little system.
1. Realize it’s over
Yes, you want to beg him to stay, to give you one last chance. But it never works, and if it does, he’ll dump you again in a week. The best thing you can do is walk away. If he wants to end it, then let him. Save yourself some energy and dignity and realize that obviously it’s over. I know it’s easier said then done, but you will feel so much better.
2. Don’t try to reason with the break up
You can sit there and ask him why, what you did wrong, why he doesn’t love you anymore, but you will never get the answer you want. He will probably never tell you the full truth and even if he did, in your mind, it wouldn’t make sense. Because to you, you can’t understand why he could want you one day and not the next. No answer will fulfill you enough. You will keep asking why and no matter what he says, you won’t understand. The best thing is to realize what you did wrong from your viewpoint and move forward to the next thing.
3. Delete him
Social media is the devil. You know if you stay friends with him on Facebook that you will stalk him. One night he’ll add a girl and you will stalk her for four hours and before you know it you’re on her brother’s ex-girlfriends sisters Facebook. You will drive yourself crazy by keeping him on social media. Delete him. Block him. And keep to it. If he’s out of sight, he’ll be out of your mind.
4. Don’t be his friend
We all say we can be friends after a break up, but we can’t. The jerk just broke your heart and you want to be his friend? Really? No, tell him no. Being is friend is basically code for here let him keep you on the side incase he decides he needs a booty-call this weekend or incase he maybe wants to get back with you. It’s like keeping that pair of heels that squishes your toes, as cute and amazing as they are, they are always going to hurt you.
5. Cry it out
I believe you do need to cry. But you need to get it all out in a set time and then you’re done. And I mean done. I say about for every month you dated you get one day to cry. And once you use your days up, you’re done. Lock yourself in the room, play some depressing Britney Spears and let it all out. Be a baby and cry and scream. You need to let the emotion out, but you have to do it strategically so you don’t look like a party pooper or crazy. Once it’s all out of your system, you’ll feel better.
6. Burn it all
Anything he bought you, wrote you, made you: burn it. Seriously, why keep it? Note: if its gold, diamonds, or something expensive, sell it. Make some money off his mistake. Keeping his stuff is like putting up your 7th grade school picture. It’s reminding you of something you don’t need to be reminded of. Get rid of it all. Except lingerie, keep that. Wear it for your next boyfriend. I also suggest playing loud mean metal music to get you in the mood for this.
7. Go out and have fun
Not hook up. Get your best dress on and your best heels and go out with your girlfriends. Look great. Whenever I feel hot, my night automatically gets ten times better. But don’t hook up. It seems like a bright idea or might help, but if you don’t find a guy to hook up with, you’ll feel like crap. If he sucks at making out, you’ll feel like crap and want to brush your teeth a million times. If he doesn’t call you the next day, you feel like crap. In all outcomes you feel like, well, crap. So just have fun. Be you and do your thing. Twerk away the pain.
8. Do something adventurous
Stepping outside your comfort zone is always an exhilarating experience. But doing something new will help you move on. It won’t trigger old memories, and it will show you that there are more opportunities out there. It’ll create a new world where you ex doesn’t really exist. Go rock climbing, get a tattoo, or do what I did and put a bright streak of blue through your hair. It’ll let you get some crazy out of you, too.
9. Do something for someone else
While you’re focusing on you, help someone else out. Go volunteer at the humane society, or volunteer at the senior citizen home. It will not only make you feel better about yourself, but you’re making someone else feel good too. It’s a complete win-win situation and by the end of it, you might have found yourself a new hobby.
10. Don’t do the drunk/I’m over you text
I’ve done it, you’ve done it, and it’s been about a successful as trying to diet during Thanksgiving. Just don’t. Delete his number, and don’t text him. You’ll think it’ll make him miss you or want you again, but all it’s going to do is remind him why he dumped you.
11. If he comes back, say no
If he turns into the drunk texter, the “hey, want to hangout” texter, say no. If you keep going back you’re never going to heal. The best thing is to not talk or see him at all. If he’s texting you asking you to come over, it isn’t because he loves you still, or might want to get back with you, its probably because he’s lonely and knows you still love him and will come over. Harsh, but I’ll bet my Diet Coke stash that’s why he’s texting you. Be strong. Someone else is out there looking for you.
12. If there’s another girl, then that’s okay
Trust me, he’ll probably find someone at some point, and so will you. He might find someone first, and it’s important that you remember that it’s over. Don’t compare yourself to the girl. I’ve seen a guy a week later have a girl, and to me she was the next Victoria’s Secret model. But when other people saw her, they laughed and told me what a downgrade she was. As girls, we think any girl that the guy moves on to is the greatest thing in the world, even if she looks like something that came out of “The Hills Have Eyes 3.” It’s because we’re crazy. We make them prettier than us, better than us. We believe that’s why he’s with them, when really it’s not. Don’t compare yourself to the new girl, you’ll never win.
Sure, I could be wrong. Sure, these might not work. But for me they have. And they have worked for other people too. The most important thing for you to remember is that you are beautiful. You are worth more than you believe. We’re all going to get our hearts broken and torn apart, but we can put them back together and start all over again. All we need is a little Taylor Swift, some Ben & Jerry’s chocolate chip cookie dough, and some great friends. We’ll get through this battlefield we call love.