Finding roommates and houses is already a difficult process for most of us, and having a long-term boyfriend can sometimes complicate that process and make the decisions harder. Deciding whether or not to move in with your boyfriend can be a big choice and a very mature move, but is it worth it? Is moving in with him the best choice? There isn’t a right or wrong answer necessarily, because every relationship is different.
Caitlin Bennetts, a junior majoring in exercise science, has been dating Jimmy for two years now, and decide to move in together this past August. Caitlin said they decided to move in together for several reasons. With both working and going to school, it was hard to schedule time to see each other, so by moving in together, they didn’t have to schedule when they were able to spend time together.
Photo credit to Caitlin Bennetts
Another plus to sharing a room is sharing the rent.
“Because we are a couple, we were able to get a one bedroom apartment and split the cost of rent and utilities, instead of each of us having to pay for our own separate expenses. We also save money on gas because we don’t have to drive to see each other anymore, which is always a plus,” Bennetts said.
By moving in with Jimmy, Caitlin believes they were able to learn and understand more about each other.
“Even the smaller things people don’t always think about, like sharing the bathroom, has taught us to learn how to work around each other and communicate better,” she said.
With both of them having different busy schedules, they are still allowed some me time, and don’t always step on each other’s toes.
The downside to living together is they both find it hard to have their “Girls or Guys night”. Along with having busy schedules, it’s hard to make time purposely not to see the other. Another downside can be living with your boyfriend can be distracting. It’s hard to stay focused on 30 pages of chemistry when your boyfriend is lying on the couch.
For Caitlin, the best part of living together is the smaller, more important things.
“I love being able to wake up each morning and go to sleep each night knowing he’s next to me. I also love not having to plan out when we are going to see each other or spend time together. Being able to come home and know he will already be there is great. He’s my best friend,” Bennetts said.
On the other side, Maddy Ingram, also a junior majoring in films has been with Dietrich for a little over a year and a half. They have decided not to move in together for a while.
Photo credit to Maddy Ingram
“For now I am in college I want to have fun, live with friends and be young. That is such a big step and maybe once I mature more and accomplish what I want in life then it will happen, but for now I am focusing on school and me,” Ingram said. She believes that if they are going to be together for a while there is no rush to moving in together and that having this time and space will make their relationship stronger.
Ingram believes that not living together gives them a good balance in their relationship.
“Sometimes I get frustrated because I want to see him but it is either too late and I am unable to get to his apartment or vice versa, but that is the only problem. To be honest it is kind of as if we do live together because we eat dinner together every night, we do homework together, and I sleep at his place every night,” she said. “The difference is that I am able to go to my own place where I have my own space and be with my friends and he can do the same.”
Ingram says that another upside to not living together is the space. With having your own space, it allows you to miss each other, and the time you have together more special.
“I think living apart helps us a lot because it gives us time to miss each other. There is still stuff he does that surprises me that if we lived together I wouldn’t be as surprised. I think for our relationship at this time living apart makes our relationship stronger,” Ingram said.
The upside can also be a downside. No one really enjoys missing each other.
“Sometimes it is hard to leave him,” Ingram said. “There are times when I wish I could walk into the next room and he would be there.”
The best part of living apart to Ingram?
“I get my own room and closet and can do what I want with the space, I am able to have me time, I feel more free and able to do what I want to do. I don’t feel as if I am settling down,” she said.
Both ladies are happy with their decisions and both acknowledge that neither choice is picture perfect. When deciding on whether or not to move in with your boyfriend, look at the ups and downs each one talked about. Find out with pros you really want, and which cons you couldn’t really deal with. In some relationships, moving in together can be a make or break it choice.
For Bennetts, moving in together it made her relationship stronger, and for Ingram, being apart allowed appreciation for the little things while having her space. The best thing to do is look at your relationship and tries to see what the best choice is for you. Every relationship is different.