I’m still trying to get used to this whole blogging thing. It’s a little bit new for me, so I hope all of y’all still decide to stick with me!
But, anyhow, I really wanted to talk about something that’s been on my mind lately; it’s kind of strange, something that most people (including myself) don’t think about all the time. And that is your imperfections!!
You probably are all thinking: “oh great, another blogger telling me that my imperfections are great and make me who I am. Blah, blah.” But, I’m actually not here to tell you all about that: shocker. I really want to talk about how living with your imperfections is hard as heck. So, call it a “rant” if you will or just a helpful post if you want to call it that too, here goes nothing.
Everybody usually wants to be perfect in every way (And if one of you doesn’t, please tell me how you do it – I’m dying to know!) and most of us seem to think of all the ways we are not perfect. Not slim enough, not pretty enough or my personal favorite: not rich enough. It seems to be subconsciously put into our brains when we are young to look at everything wrong about ourselves.
Okay, that might be a stretch to stay “when we were young” because for me, I really started noticing my imperfections in Junior High. Those “glory years” – I use quotations for a reason – I still blame for the hatred towards my body. I was not small, if anything I felt huge. My chest was starting to develop; I had glasses, and no self-confidence. A triple threat I suppose. Thinking back on those years, I remember how hard everyone was on each other. I was never bullied, and I am very thankful for that, but I remember how my friends would say things to me that would make me think twice about my body – or vice versa. It was such a strange and peak development time that I seemed to carry on to high school, unfortunately.
from pinterest.com
In high school, I was determined to be a different girl that in junior high. I decided to move high schools because I was, like I said before, determined to be different. I was on the newspaper, more outgoing, knew almost everybody in my class. But, that still didn’t seem to be enough. There was always that nagging feeling from myself or from others that you’re not good enough to be worth anything.
I really started to notice that around my senior year, a ripe year ago. I had made myself confident and had scored an internship that had almost seemed out of grasp. But, I dealt with the pressure everyday of my imperfections. My procrastination is horrible, I mean, I’m writing this article at 11 p.m.! And I have terrible grammar. But I still wanted to work and develop my skills. Around October, I had some serious issues within my friend group. Personally, I really don’t know how or why it happened, all I can say is that I regret it every day. Anyhow, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in multiple forms: social and school.
from pinterest.com
I remember being devastated; I suppose as much as a depressed person could be. I would look at myself in the mirror and see everything I thought was an imperfection.
I can’t tell you, nor do I want, any of you to experience the pain of feeling like you’re not worth anything – that nobody cares about you. Because, coming from a girl who is still suffering, it is literal hell.
But, yet here I am today talking about imperfections with you. So much stuff has happened, in every single one of your lives – just think about it – when your imperfections overcame your beauty and your grace.
I know I said that this was going to be a “rant” if you will, but for those of you that have stuck with me – I will give you a little treat.
Your imperfections are a part of you, sure. But, I’m a firm believer in the fact that they are not great, but you are greater because of them. Inside myself these days I see a fighter, unwilling to give up.
Imperfections will always stick with us, and I really wish I could give you more tips on how to handle them – but coming from someone who is still trying to overcome them is a difficult task. So, my simple “tip” is a different spin on what a great guy from Glee once said:
Imperfections are like sandpaper, they may scruff you up and mark you, but in all reality, you’ll just end up shiny – and them useless.