1. Adele is either playing right now or she’s one of your most recently played artists. Who else is better to cry to?
Unless you’re like me, in which case the scenario above is true year round.
2. There is a pile of clothes: it’s either a massive amount of dirty laundry, clean laundry you haven’t folded yet or a combination of both.
3. You’re either studying for a test, taking a test, writing a paper, wallowing over a bad grade or breathing. No combination available here.
4. Popcorn is a food group. Just like granola bars, Poptarts and microwave mac n’ cheese. Embrace this.
5. The thought of leaving your roomies in just a few short weeks is debilitating so you choose not to think about it. Kinda like your last paper grade, but different.
6. Your jokes have become increasingly more Dad. This is possibly the most positive outcome of it being spring semester.
7. The calls home to your folks include at least 30 second pauses while you try to think of words. Words are hard.
8. The only thing you can find in your room is your bed, and that’s all that matters.
9. You’re on the last load of laundry detergent, last squeeze of toothpaste, last drop of shampoo. But are they ESSENTIAL?
(Yes, yes they are. You should go buy some more.)
10. Your friends ask you to go out and you cancel before you even agree. That level of commitment is unattainable. You can barely remember to feed yourself.
11. You’re not sure what’s in your backpack and you have no desire to find out.
12. The stain on your shirt makes it look so vintage! (Keep telling yourself that.)
13. You can see the light at the end of the tunnel! No…wait. Nope. That was the sun peeping through your blinds. It’s 3 p.m.
14. The library is your new permanent address.
15. You’re reaching for your charger because either you’re laptop’s dying or your phone is. Most likely both.