I have two brothers, one older and one younger. This explains a lot of things about me: why I like playing and watching video games, why I love roughhousing, and why my fashion sense is akin to a twelve-year-old boy’s.
Some statistics about my family: The average age of a Bator child is 18, with a standard deviation of 3; my older brother, William, is 21 and my younger brother, Hugh, is 15. In fact, much of me is an amalgamation of my two siblings. My older brother has perfect vision, my little brother has terrible vision; my vision is ok. My older brother is judgy, stoic, and reserved, and my little brother is sweet, extroverted, and wild; I’m a solid mix of all of that. Even still, I’m much more like my little brother than my older brother. Imagine me as a boy, about three years younger, with darker skin, and hair, and different glasses. That’s what my little bro looks like. Hugh and I are the same side of the same coin. At family reunions, there’s always one relative who points out how much we look alike, and we really do. Unlike Will, we also look more like my father than my mother: we have lighter eyes, paler skin, and lighter color hair. The Hungarian genes beat out our Italian genes. Of course, there are elements of my mother in both Hugh and me. For example, Hugh and I are both the athletes of the family; my mother was a track star, so we probably inherited her competitive nature and stubbornness. I guess you could say Hugh and I inherited the same things from our parents, while Will inherited different things.Hugh and I are closer than Will and I are. At home, we live right next to each other, separated by a vanity and a sink; a space that we divided in half (though i usually encroach onto his side of the room). Hugh and I also went to elementary school together, until he switched to private school and I graduated to middle school. In addition, Will and I don’t mesh well as siblings. He and I love each other, but I don’t know if we really like each other. I could see Hugo and I being friends if we weren’t related, but I think Will and I would really hate each other without a familial bond. This is why I want to write about Hugh for this article. My little brother, while he has flaws, is a better person than I could ever be. Don’t get me wrong; he’s bossy and can be a huge jerk some days, but he’s a fiercely loyal friend. I’m very thankful to have him in my life.
A few things that my little brother taught me:
Boys have a sensitive side.
I’ve seen Hugo break down and freak out, a sight that I rarely see from Will, or any other guy for that matter. He isn’t afraid to tell you when you piss him off. It’s humanizing. I wouldn’t be as sensitive and considerate to a man’s feelings if he were as cut off as Will is. It’s an awareness that I wouldn’t have without him.
Gender stereotypes exist, but they don’t need to be followed. Wear and do what you like.
My little brother loves to wear pink because he knows he looks nice in it. His phone case is also a bright pink. He doesn’t care that his friends have called him out on it because he loves the way he looks. While I’m sure he’s a little self-conscious that he plays an instrument like the flute, he knows he’s good at it so he sticks with it. He also loves to read and do things that aren’t considered “manly.” It’s a self-confidence that I love.
Getting help is ok.
I was much prouder than my brother because I never wanted to admit I had a problem with my school or my mental health. I remember how nervous I was to start taking ADD medication when I was a freshman in high school because I thought it meant I wasn’t as smart as everyone else. I cried in the doctor’s office. It also took me a year to tell my parents that I wasn’t very happy with myself. My little brother asks for help more than I do, and even though his pride gets wounded too, he sucks it up and behaves better in those situations than I ever could. It’s an emotional maturity that I envy.
Being yourself is cool.
My brother is a self-proclaimed video game nerd. He just accepts it, and enjoys being himself. He doesn’t care who he may be to his classmates, just who he is to his friends. Embarrassing photos aren’t embarrassing at all to him; he and I both think they’re hilarious. It’s a mentality that I can only emulate.
That is my Ode to Hugh. You’re my favorite little brother: keep on trucking, you trashcan.
Image Credit: Suz Bator