You’ve seen it before: the inevitable article in which someone, who claims to be an expert on dreaming, tells you exactly what that polar bear eating an apple meant in your dream last night. I, a person with no experience in dreams or psychology (and who finds the word psychology hard to spell), am here to explain exactly what your dreams mean.
Dream #1: Walking down Middle Path in a rainstorm and feeling super happy that it isn’t turning into mud because it’s been paved properly.
What a pleasant dream. You probably did yoga or drank calming chamomile tea before you went to bed, didn’t you? I’m sure we all wish this were true, but alas, ‘tis but a dream now.
Dream #2: Something about ghosts.
You read that Buzzfeed article about haunted places in Ohio before you went to sleep. Definitely.
Dream #3: A giant watermelon (with Hillary Clinton’s hair and voice) is your professor and Ron Swanson is your roommate, but you’re living in Bermuda, and your mom is there?
You took Nyquil to get some sleep, and your dreams are really, really, strange.
Dream #4: You’re awake, but you keep seeing hash brown triangles floating in front of you.
You need sleep, man. You probably pulled an all-nighter, and skipped breakfast, and need both sleep and food. Sorry about your exams/comps, BTW.
Dream #5: The Hamilton cast.
Is that — wait, no, it can’t be! But, it is. Lin-Manuel Miranda is your history professor and Phillipa Soo is your sorority sister… until you wake up. This dream means one of two things: you’ve fallen asleep listening to the Hamilton soundtrack, or you really want your professors to start rapping rather than lecturing.
Dream #6: The Cove closing.
Sorry, dudes, but if you’ve been dreaming about this, you’re in for a surprise. Like, it closed weeks ago. You’re probably still subconsciously dealing with it, though. Sometimes nightmares are real.
Dream #7: Donald Trump.
Oh, god. If you’ve had Trump become a part of your dreams, you’re probably super stressed or a Poli-Sci major who is nervous about the election. I’m so, so sorry, either way.
Dream #8: A polar bear.
Apparently, this is also a common re-occurrence in dreams. You’ve probably got this really strange winter on your mind. Sixty degree weather in February? At Kenyon? What the hell. Maybe you’re secretly longing for a climate that’s so cold you would freeze your ass off. Maybe you’re secretly a polar bear.
There you go, guys. That’s a round-up of what all of your dreams mean. You can totally trust me because I’m an expert about this. Sweet dreams, y’all.
Image credits: Giphy.com