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An Open Letter To Best Friends With Boyfriends

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Kenyon chapter.

Dear Best Friend,

We get it; you’re excited that you got together with that boy (or girl) you liked. We’re so happy for you. After all, we love you and want the best for you. But don’t forget about us. Don’t forget about your single friend who stayed up with you for hours listening to you gush about how amazing this person is, who helped you decode his or her confusing flirty texts, who hugged you and sat with you while you cried after your last breakup.

Remember how we learned from our female role models in middle school that boys will come and go but friends are forever? It’s easy to say that when you’re twelve—not so easy to practice when you actually have a significant other. Especially in the first few weeks of a relationship, what many call the “honeymoon phase,” it’s easy to forget about everyone else in your life as you’re wrapped up in your new SO. But please don’t do that to us. We care about you. We want to be there when you’re happy too, not just for when you need a shoulder to cry on. 

Don’t forget to make time for your friends. In college, especially if you’re like us and not in a romantic relationship, your friends are the people you depend on. Even if you’re now getting some love from your new boyfriend/girlfriend, we still need some love from you. Whether it’s carving out time to have lunch with us every day or planning a regular girls night (in or out), it is essential that you make time. And make that time about us too, please. Of course we want to hear all about your new relationship, but we also want to hear about the other parts of your life and want to share things with you too.

Make the girl time with us just girl time. We do want to get to know your new significant other, but we don’t want him or her to be around all the time. We befriended you for you, not for you as someone’s girlfriend; when we hang out with you, sometimes we want it to be with just you. 

And NEVER cancel your plans with us for your guy (or girl). Unless it truly is an emergency (in which case we’ll be understanding), the time you schedule with us should be sacred. If you constantly cancel on us so that you can spend time with your boyfriend/girlfriend, it sends us the message that our time is not important to you, and that we’re not important to you.  Would you want us to do that to you?

Don’t forget to take some time for yourself too. It’s easy to get so wrapped up in trying to please everyone that you forget about making yourself happy. By taking some time to yourself, you will ensure that you can be the best you possible, whether you’re alone, with your significant other, or with us. 

We love you. We’re happy for you. We just miss spending time with our best friend. 

Love,

Your Best Friend

 

Image: collegemagazine.com

Rebecca is a senior English major and American Studies concentrator at Kenyon College. She is from Alexandria, Virginia and has written for Her Campus since freshman year.