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No Shame: The Collegiette's Guide to Masturbation

Posted Dec 7 2012 - 1:53am

Let me begin by saying that if you read Cosmo, the words on this page won’t even make you flinch. For those with shyer eyes, beware because things here might get a little risqué. So...you ready? Lets talk about masturbation.

So first of all let me say, I hate the word masturbation. It sounds clinical and harsh, which can be terribly misleading. Whatever you may call it (and you’ve got many choices, just check out urban dictionary), we’re still talking about the same thing. Masturbation is masturbation.

Second, forget everything your mom, society, or boys told you about sex and masturbation. Society and its double standards subtly convince the young ladies of our generation that this private activity is disgusting, animalistic, unnecessary for girls, and reserved only for boys who “require” it for their health.

Lastly...I masturbate. And I’m not ashamed one bit. Do you enjoy foot massages? Doesn’t everyone!? If you could give yourself a good foot massage multiple times a day, every day, wouldn’t you? So then tell me, why shouldn’t I indulge in a little me time whenever the chance arises?

Whenever girls talk about masturbation, they often say the same thing: “It’s gross!,” “I tried it and nothing happened”, “That’s what horny boys do!” But come on, feeling horny is not unique to males. Girls can feel just as horny as any boy. The only difference is, no one told us what do with ourselves when we’re feeling all hot and bothered. Sure, if there’s a boy around you can always fool around with him for pleasure, thats a no brainer. But what if you’re alone, in the middle of the day, in your dorm, when no one’s around? What then? Well, that’s when it’s time to deal with it yourself.


The key is just not to overthink it. It’s really not that difficult, but it does take a little practice. You probably won’t orgasm the first time. You just have to figure out what feels good down there. If you’ve ever been fingered than you’ve got the basic concept, the only difference is that you’re flying solo.

Now to get a little detailed. When? This needs to be planned a little strategically. The last thing you need is for your roommate or the guy who lives next door to interrupt you mid-go with a question about your Econ homework. (Even if this does happen, its not the end of the world! And it has happened to me, just say you were taking a nap. No one will even think twice about it). So the best times for collegiettes? Mid-day and early evening. Mid-day everyone is usually off doing their homework at the library or Wiggin Street, so your dorm room will be perfectly empty (bonus if you have a single), no interruption around.

How? Well, this really depends on you. You’ll probably want to set the mood a little bit. You need to be relaxed and free of any tension. Music is always good and is better than awkward silence. Jazz, Ne-Yo, anything calming and sexy is perfect. Then spread your legs and give it a go! The key is not to be afraid or feel uncomfortable. Put those thoughts out of your mind and it will feel completely natural.

Aside from being at its most basic level a pleasurable activity, masturbating is also a confidence builder. To masturbate is to take agency in your own sexuality. You learn what feels good to you, and hell, you might be bold enough to even make a suggestion to your boy the next time he explores down there. Accept your sexuality, embrace it, and enjoy it. The point is, you’re getting to know your own body and by doing so you gain power. Masturbate often enough, and you’ll be feeling sexy all the time.
 

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