It’s three a.m.: you’re hungry but all you have in your dorm room is a rotting apple from Peirce and a bottle of questionably old orange juice. You know you should study but your eyes are as dry as sandpaper and your mind is a bowl of especially soupy oatmeal. Netflix hasn’t yet added the new season of Grey’s Anatomy and your roommate is sleeping.
The solution? Online shopping.
Actually, oftentimes, online shopping seems to be an answer to anything. Bored in class? Oh look, a new dress on Modcloth just went on sale for 5% less than it was yesterday. What a steal! You just got into a fight with your (insert best friend/boyfriend/roommate/inner voice of reason)? Shop away girl, you deserve that retail therapy!
I’ve been slave to this costly extracurricular for quite some time. It’s so bad that all of my favorite online websites have the number of my debit card already punched in and ready to go, which means I don’t even have to take out my wallet and feel the tiny morsel of regret as I stroke in the 16-digit code and safety code on the back. Nope, none of that. I feel no remorse as I press “Submit,” and only sense the joy as the confirmation page loads and I know that in a few days a package will arrive, the yellow slip in my P.O box more exciting than real ice cream in Peirce.
A dangerous and addictive pastime, online shopping is a craze that’s sure to continue. In an era with such an emphasis on modern technologies and convenience, shopping at a mall seems, by now, a tad old school. Even though I still love the frenzy of shopping at a store, the smell of clothes, the neat and proper racks of a boutique, I’m old fashioned in that I attempt to look decent and appropriate while shopping, so it’s a nice change to order fancy cocktail dresses while eating barbecue potato chips in my underwear in the comfort of my room.
In my mind, it’s easy to justify my compulsive buys: I defended a leotard purchase with the rationale that it’d bring my total up to the sacred amount of spending for which one gets free shipping. After all, I’d rather spend money on clothes than shipping. Therein lies one of the dangers that comes with the ease and convenience of using plastic instead of dealing with tangible, visible cash. This carefree attitude is especially dangerous if your card is hooked up to your parents’ account .
While online shopping may seem like one constant in your life, after all, what is more affirming than the ability to track your package with a link that guarantees those new boots’ arrival in Gambier on Friday (backstabbing friends = 2 new pairs of wedges bought in a dramatic mood swing), the habit has its faults. Who hasn’t ordered the cutest thing online only to receive the package and realize that red dress is actually more of a dark cranberry looks completely different than the website photo? Or even worse, the “it doesn’t fit, what now?”
For you Collegiettes out there like me, who aren’t quite ready to give up online shopping as an all-purpose friend, there are several tips on how to make it as satisfying as possible, and to make sure you get it right without the hassle of returns by mail. Some tips:
- Make sure if you’re ordering a necklace, check out a length chart online (pinterest has a great one) to see where it’ll hit you.
- If possible, buy the item from a store with free returns. Because who really wants to deal with returning a ten-dollar dress from Forever 21?
- Always, always, always read reviews! They are one thousand million times more useful than the “measurements” given by the site (Who actually knows their true waist measurements?)
- Buy brands you know and sizes that fit according to the brand.
Don’t get me wrong, shopping in general is almost the highlight of my life. It there were no coffee or cats on this earth, shopping would tie with food for most important hobby in my life. (but hey, I know I’m not the only collegiette with a bit of an addiction to online shopping). I can’t explain how many hours I’ve wasted away before a computer screen staring at Haute Couture fashion shows and sadly settling for their copycat pieces available the season after from less prestigious designers.
So…I say we’re young and have our whole lives ahead of us to be fiscally responsible. So buy that green silk-and-feathered Sue Wong dress, because damnit you’ll wear it someday. Order five different pairs of Nike shorts as a workout motivator. Don’t just drool over beautiful home wear – buy some and be the girl with the classy-ass dorm room.
I’m not going to lie to you all, I personally plead guilty to a near addiction. I walked out of the Columbus Target over parent’s weekend with over $200 worth of unnecessary items. But it’s even easier in cyber space — creating a “basket” of items only to realize that you have hundreds of dollars worth of pieces and with a heavy heart, you begin to pare down your online bag until it’s only what is necessary. I find myself often in an Isla Fisher-style fret over the latest window display item and I even ever sometimes think I can hear my credit card crying from it’s place inside my purse.
But there is sanity to our insanity. We need clothes, right? This overwhelming pressure to buy everything, and I do mean everything, that shows up on my pinterest newsfeed can be handled. Even if handling that is crying on the phone to our parents for the last twenty dollars towards those amazing limited-edition Sperry topsiders. So don’t fret Collegiettes.
Thanksgiving break gives us a chance to plead our cases to our parents once again regarding our dire financial straits. So I recommend retail therapy via the considerably undependable wireless Internet here at Kenyon as a way to cope with stress, with friend troubles, with bad hair days and missing your mama’s cooking.
My cards are calling to me, my online basket on Nordstrom.com is stocked and my closet is looking a bit depressed. I’m off to shop, given the stress of midterms and I’m going to say that gaining clothes > gaining weight (stress-induced munchies. It’s a real thing). I can only say one last thing:
Happy Shopping!
Author’s Note: NORDSTROM HALF-YEARLY SALE GOING ON NOW!!
PhotoCred: www.allmoviephoto.com