Every week, as I prepare to pitch an article at the Her Campus meeting, I ask the friends around me what I should write about. Nine times out of ten I don’t take their suggestions because I end up coming up with something myself that I’m interested in talking about, but I always ask because it’s mostly very funny. People have odd conceptions of both what could have substance as an article and what Her Campus articles in particular should be about. For this week’s article, oddly enough, I took a friend of mine’s suggestion: the worst article ideas that I have ever been presented with.
1) “Write about the many ways this Peirce meal has disappointed me”
Though I well understand your suffering and the chicken on your plate truly was unappetizing, I simply cannot spend upwards of 500 words talking about how your breadstick was too hard to bite through. You are justified in your distaste and displeasure, but I am afraid that I cannot be your vehicle of change. But, hey, look: I gave you some time here!
2) “Write about spring.” “What about spring?” “Just…spring…”
Ah yes, my favorite season the year. Full of flowers and longer days and awkwardly handled jean capris. There are many things I could say about spring, and yet, I have reservations about giving it its own article. I like seasonal articles about the pumpkin spice filled fun of the fall and the best places to sled around Gambier. (Has that been written yet? Because it should be if it hasn’t.) Still, an article needs a little more oomph than “just…spring…”
3) “Write about why it’s unfair that there is no His Campus”
I don’t think I need to explain why I said no to this one. I could talk about how the male gaze permeates the media presented for our consumption and that having a source in the name of college women actually helps promote equal representation. Or, if that doesn’t fly with you, I could talk about how Her Campus, by publishing serious and thought provoking articles, constantly works to disprove the idea that women writers are only capable of producing “chick lit.” Take your pick. That might not answer why there’s no His Campus, but if you’re really that aggravated by it, then go make one and stop bothering me about it.
4) “Write about what happened when I went around and tasted every tree on campus”
This was a joke. This was very clearly a joke. But I thought it was also very funny. Disclaimer: I don’t recommend licking trees. It’s a bad idea.
5) “Write about me”
I’m of the belief that all people are interesting enough for a profile. Maybe not everyone has started an internationally successful non-profit or published a novel while still in school (how did she even do that, honestly), but everyone’s life is fascinating, at least to me. The truth is that most people don’t actually want to be interviewed. If you don’t have something obvious and public that the question asker can grab onto, then it’s difficult to pursue something interesting without getting too personal. And that, ultimately, is why some article ideas are more viable than others. You just can’t pursue every topic that interests you because someone’s already done it, or it just doesn’t have enough substance as an idea. Most things, like most people, have something fascinating about them. That just doesn’t always translate into an easily produced written piece.
And those are my five worst article pitches! If you have any other silly ideas for articles, let me know in the comments.
Image credits: Pexels.com, leosigh.com