One of my New Year’s resolutions this year was to make the people around me feel more valued and to have more valued conversations with those people. I feel like in today’s world it’s our instinct to simply ask how people are without really caring about their answer. There have been times where I have caught myself asking how someone was as I walked away or was in passing. This year I have been working hard to change that habit. I believe that valued conversation leads to strong relationships/friendships. Now that it is almost March, I have discovered a few tips and tricks to help anyone start building strong and valued relationships.
1. What is a genuine conversation?
According to dictionary.com, the definition of genuine is: truly what something is said to be; authentic. Authentic conversation is something that is important to strive for. Having a genuine conversation is easier than you might think. I believe it is important to elaborate on any topic you plan on talking about. Instead of simply asking how someone is, you can ask about a specific class that people are taking or an activity they are involved in. This will open the door for a more in-depth conversation. When you ask the simple and basic questions, many times the answer will also be one-worded answers. When you start asking questions about things that are truly important to the other person, this will open the door for real authentic conversations. These conversations can even foster growth for a new, stronger relationship.
2. Simple things you can do to make others feel valued.
Now that you are starting to think about what genuine conversations are, it is important to take it to the next step. After having an authentic conversation, how can you continue to help that relationship grow and make that new friend feel valued? It’s simple, you can continue reaching out in ways that will continue to show you care. This can be as easy as sending a text asking how their day was. If you are running to Starbucks for a quick coffee, pick one up for a friend whose had a rough day. If you want to get more personal than that, you can even write them a note or letter. Whenever I had in a rough day, some of my friends reach out in the ways that I just listed. It made me want to trust that person even more, and I felt more comfortable going to them with future problems and situations.
3. Why is it important to make those around you feel valued?
After reading through this article you might be wondering why this matters. Why is it important to put so much time and effort into genuine relationships? As humans, we are social butterflies. We are constantly trying to make bonds and connections with the world and those in it. There is no better way to create those bonds than having authentic conversations, showing that you care and to constantly being engaged with the people around you.
4. Personally, what has this done for me?
Last year, I found myself in a hard place. At the time I had few friends that I could lean on for help and support. When 2018 finally rolled around, not only did I want to focus on myself, but I wanted to focus on the individual bonds that I am creating with other people. I have realized that simply showing you care about the daily lives of others can go a long way. People start to open up to you even when you would least expect it. I believe having genuine conversations allow the people close to us to feel valued and loved. In today’s world we never know what tomorrow will bring. Making sure your genuine friends know that you value them is something that will stick with them for a long time. It will be the glue in your friendship and bond you for years to come.
I now challenge you to reach out to your old friends and to the people you just met and strengthen those bonds!