To the boy who decides to date the “innocent” girl,
Be careful.
Her heart is shiny and new, there’s no bumps and bruises from past experience. She has nothing or no one else to compare it to. You are all she knows. There is a reason why you are first, why there were no others before you.
It finally happened. After 18 years someone was finally interested in being more than just friends. This was a feeling like no other and I was convinced it wasn’t real—but it was.
Know that being in a relationship is exciting and scary, especially the first.
Although my only experience comes from this one relationship that lasted six months, being the new-bee, the “innocent” one of the two is not easy. Experiencing everything for the first time is exhilarating. The first kiss, the first date, the first fight, everything good and everything bad. The hardest part is having to accept the fact that this isn’t your first rodeo, it’s your 12th or 13th. Whatever the number, it is hard to accept the fact that you’ve experienced other people, other love and I have nothing to compare it to.
I often wondered what made me special or stand out to you in the first place. How would I know that this wasn’t just a mirror image of a past relationship? How was I different? But, there is never a way to know for sure.
I even asked, “How do I know that you didn’t do this exact same thing with the others?” and “How many others were there before me?”
Ultimately, those answers didn’t matter. The past is the past and we were in the present. I understand that it is hard to be someone’s first love, but the other side comes with its challenges as well. There are pros and cons to both, but with more experience comes more knowledge of what you want in life.
I am thankful that this relationship showed me what I don’t want in a significant other. I am thankful for the support I had as I experienced all of the unknown and I am thankful for all of the firsts.
To those who choose to date the “innocent” girl, know that the first is the hardest and most painful to let go. Know how much your actions before, during and most importantly, after the relationship affect her more than you could imagine. You’ve done this before. You’ve experienced the grieving stages. She hasn’t. She opened up to you, she told you things she had never told anyone else before, she trusted you with her whole heart, so try not to shatter it.
Push her out of her comfort zone. Make her try new things and go on adventures. She needs you for this. She needs you to push her out of her shell. She doesn’t know what she’s missing.
Deep down I will always be that “innocent” girl. There’s no changing in who I am. I thank you for showing me that I don’t always have to keep my walls up, I should just be more careful with who tears them down.
Sincerely,
The forever “innocent” girl who is no longer perfectly “innocent”