For most people, their 21st birthday means finally transitioning into adulthood and being granted all of the privileges when they come of age. They can rent a car, try their luck at the casino and of course, enjoy a drink at the bar. Turning 21 for me was more than enjoying my first legal drink. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was making a difference by voting in the presidential election. Growing up, I often struggled with self doubt, and on rare days, I stumbled into the extreme and my ego reached Kanye levels. Through the highs of graduating high school and the lows of angsty middle school years, I have been through a lot and have learned valuable lessons throughout the way. Here are 21 pieces of advice I’ve learned and think all young women should know too.
1. Money looks better in your account than on your body. During my freshman year of college, I would always come to class with a carefully picked out outfit from the night before, my best attempt at applying makeup and coordinating accessories. Don’t get me wrong, There’s nothing wrong with looking nice to class. In fact, you’re more likely to pay attention better when you’re dressed up as opposed to wearing sweats. However, you shouldn’t be ordering seventy five dollars of clothing from Forever 21 each week. If you’re living in a dorm, you already have limited closet space, so you don’t need five extra chiffon blouses. Besides student loans to pay off, you’ll need extra money if you decide to study abroad (which you should), want to plan a spring break trip with your friends or have to intern off campus. It’s nice to treat yourself occasionally but having memorable experiences and gaining a head start on your finances is worth me than a collection of cheap Forever 21 clothing.
2. Time goes faster than you think. I still can’t comprehend how I’m an upperclassman and will be graduating next year. You’re only an undergrad once, so it’s important to make memories you can look back on. I still wish I would have went to more Welcome Weekend activities during my freshman year. Becoming involved on campus and attending events are great opportunities to meet new people or at least get out of your room for a few hours and have some fun.
3. Balance your life. You promise to start studying at 5 p.m. but there was a cliffhanger in the last episode of Stranger Things and you have to find out what happens next. Planners are a great tool to help you stay organized. In the beginning of your classes, it’s great to look at the syllabus and write down all of your assignments and tests, so you know what is coming ahead. As for studying, it has been reported that for each credit hour, you should spend two to three hours outside of class studying. In Between your class schedule, work and having fun, create a time out timeout for studying each day. Remember to turn your phone off while you’re studying to avoid distraction.
4. Treat your self. All work and studying makes a stressful undergrad life. It’s important to reward yourself for achieving a goal, whether that’s passing all of your classes or getting accepted into a competitive internship program. Treating yourself to a Friday night out with friends or even a relaxing weekend, getting your nails done and seeing a movie are nice ways to reward your hard work as a student and keep you sane.
5. GPA does not determine intelligence. We all have experienced tough professors, useless group partners and just plain hard classes that made you contemplate dropping out. Just because your GPA turns out to be not so stellar because of an insanely difficult class or an incompetent professor, doesn’t mean you should throw in the towel. If you struggled with a class for your major, remind yourself why you chose that major and how it can help you in the future. If the class isn’t for your major, try to figure out how the class can be useful in the real world. You spend a lot of time and money on your classes. You might as well try to be positive and get something out of it.
6. Ask for help. If you find yourself struggling in the beginning of the semester, don’t wait until the first exam to get help. Everything you learn in class builds up on previous lessons. It can be intimidating approaching professors but part of their job is to help students and answer their questions, which is why they have office hours. If office hours are not stated on the syllabus, email them about what part of the material you are having trouble with and your availability. If you need more one on one attention, there is always tutoring drop in tutoring at the library and Tri Towers. Do you learn better through hands on activities? Kent State offers Supplemental Instruction where supplement instructor leaders attend specific class sections they are tutoring in, so they know exactly what material the professor is covering. Supplemental instruction leaders offer games and study skills to enhance students’ learning experience.
7. No is a valid answer. You’re taking 18 credit hours, starting your own blog, have a part time job, and have been elected as president for your favorite on-campus organization. It’s great to be involved and try new things but don’t want to be spreading yourself too thin. Know your limits and organize a list of your top priorities.
8. Stay Woke. Saying there is “a lot” going on in our country is a vague statement. As a young adult who will soon be entering into the real world, it’s important to educate yourself on relevant topics such as immigration, politics and systematic racism. It’s important to keep in mind your opinions can come from a place of privilege and people who are marginalized and have experienced oppression whether that’s due to race, gender, sexuality or social class have valid thoughts and feelings. You don’t have to watch CNN every day to stay informed. The Skimm is a daily newsletter that breaks down news, so it’s easy comprehend and fast to rest.
9. The mirror doesn’t lie. You can change your style and find a new group of friends, but when you go home and look at yourself in the mirror, you’ll always be the same person. It’s important to accept who you are. If you’re constantly trying on different personas, people will eventually catch on to your act. It’s much easier to be yourself then have to deal with trying not to come across as fake. Being yourself seems like simple advice but it’s pretty hard when you’re in your early 20s and are still trying to figure out who you are. A more realistic piece of advice would be, be who you want to be, not how you think others will want to perceive you as.
10. Be a Boss. For the most part, you are in charge of your future. If you want something, make it happen. If you’re tired of being in a relationship with guys who act like tools, stop going after guys with similar qualities and give the guy who may not be your type a chance. If you have a non exist social life and want to make friends, become involved in an organization on campus. It even helps to just go up to someone that is eating alone and ask to join them. Chances are, they will appreciate the company. Complaining and doing nothing won’t get you anywhere. In the words of Nike and Shia Labeouf, if you want to change your life, you should “just do it!”
11. Eat your greens and do your squats. Navigating the dining halls on campus for healthy options can feel like a challenge, since there are always staples like pizza, burgers, fries and chicken tenders. Plus, let’s not forget that Rosie’s diner and market, famous for their handspun milkshakes and various fried appetizers is open 24/7. If you live in Tri Towers, you probably find it convenient to just walk down stairs and go get food at Rosie’s. It’s fine to get a burger, fries with cheese sauce and a milkshake once a week, but you don’t want to eat there every day. Mix up your menu with healthier options from Eastway and Kent Market II. Your taste buds and waistline will thank you later. Another tip is to invest in a water bottle with a built in filter, so you can save money on buying bottles of water. Don’t forget to wear a comfortable pair of walking shoes. If you don’t have time to make it to the rec, opt for walking to and from your class instead of taking the bus and always take the stairs instead of the elevator. You could always take a one credit basic P.E course for next semester.
12. Be picky on the people you let in. Toxic friendships and relationships can be hard to get rid of, so you want to make sure the people in your life have your best interests..
13. You have more allies than you think. There are people in your corner who want you to succeed. Sometimes life can look bleak, when you have a falling out with your friends, a dysfunctional family or are just feeling depressed but there is always at least one person that thinks you’re great. A lot of times you find allies in unlikely places; the professor that always compliments your work or the co-worker that feels comfortable confiding.
14. You can’t change people. Life would be so much easier if we could mold people’s characteristics like Play-Doh to create the perfect person. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work like that and people are who they are. A famous quote by Maya Angelou that I live by today is, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
15. Have a relationship with your gynecologist. There are some things you barely consider telling your best friend of ten years, let alone a stranger in a white coat. Gynecologists have heard and seen it all, so there’s no need to feel embarrassed. Talking about your sexual history, your period and bringing up any issues if something doesn’t feel right down there is vital for your health. It’s also important to know your body. Finding all of your reproductive parts and organs isn’t as simple as looking at a diagram. While you’re being examined, ask a nurse if she can hold a mirror so you can see which areas your gyno is touching and speak up if you feel any pain or discomfort during an exam.
16. It’s okay to not have a passion. It seems like some people have it all figured out. They know if they want to go to grad school, where they want to work after graduation and have already picked out,the names of their future children. You on the other hand just have a hard time deciding where you want to eat. It’s okay to not know exactly where you want to be. There are many opportunities out there for you to explore and find your niche.
17. Life does not have deadlines. It doesn’t matter if it will take you four or six years to graduate college. In the end, the only thing that will be important is having your degree. Stop comparing yourself to others. Some people had credits from high school and were able to finish early while others took their time when deciding on a major. It doesn’t matter how long it takes you to get to the finish line. What’s most important is that you finish.
18. Invest in yourself. Investing in yourself offers one of the best returns. Whether it’s working out and becoming fit, developing yourself professionally or learning a new skill, you want to be the best person you can be. Investing in yourself sends a powerful message to yourself and the world. The message is you have put in energy and dedication to achieve results, and you’ll always be growing as a person. 19. Ignore the college major hierarchy. At most colleges, STEM majors are perceived as being the top dogs followed by business majors then liberal arts and communication majors. At the bottom of the totem pole are the arts majors, music, theatre, studio arts and fashion. Many people don’t believe in the right brain, left brain theory. Some people have a dominant right brain where their strengths are creativity, intuition and interpersonal skills. Others may have a dominant left brain where their strengths are logic, analysis and sequencing. Some people may even have a combination of both right and left brain. Whether you identify as right, left or a combination of both, you chose your major because that is where your interest lies and you see yourself being able to utilize your strengths.
20. Love at first sight is a myth. I have actually never heard someone in real life describe meeting their partner as love at first sight but I’m sure there are hopeless romantics out there who want a fairy tale love story. This may sound harsh but with hookup apps and having a man elected as president who has bragged about grabbing women by their genitals, chivalry has been dead for quite some time. However, all hope is not lost. There are still good guys out there who know how to treat women and want to settle down. Just don’t think you can find Mr. Right on South Water Street. The whole “find a future husband in college” is an archaic belief used to make women less independent.
21. Roll with the punches and throw some too. Rolling with the punches is such a clique phrase but it always holds true. In life, you’re going to experience moments where things don’t go your way. Sometimes you have to let things go and be flexible. Other times you have to stand up for yourself and not let people treat you like a door mar. A smart, empowered young woman knows when to roll with the punches and knows when to throw them.