He’s tall, dark, and handsome, drives a nice car, aced the LSAT’s, and even bought you Dave’s last Saturday at 3 am. He’d drop all of his plans to hang out with you and responds to your texts at a moment’s notice. He’s even got your friends gushing about how cute he is and how they wish they’d snagged him before you did. He’s drop dead perfect. There’s just one thing missing… your feelings for him.
We use the same excuse all the time for not finding a good guy – you know, that one about the girl to boy ratio at JMU being 90:6? But we can’t always blame it on odds – there are too many happy couples roaming the quad on sunny days! It’s ironic, and a little bit idiotic, to complain so much about not being able to find a decent date, and then meeting a nice guy and coming up short on butterflies.
Potential reasons you’re not into him…
- You’ve dated enough players that now it just becomes second nature to you that that is how you expect to feel in a relationship.
- Colin Farrell is your all-time celebrity crush, making it hard for any of your real life boys to measure up.
- You have trouble seeing boys as both friends and lovers; they often land in either one or the other categories.
- Hooking him was just too easy and, hey, you’re a thrill-chaser.
Sometimes we feel guilty for not liking them back so we keep it going, hoping our feelings will grow. But when our feelings don’t change and his continue to grow stronger, it makes it unfair. Sometimes we stay in it because we’re afraid we won’t be able to find another good guy for a while. Other times, we let them go and as soon as we see them with another girl decide we’re into them (newsflash: that one’s called jealousy).
Should you really feel bad for not liking him? Heck, plenty of guys haven’t liked you and have had no problem at all getting over it. I bet I can count on two hands how many losers I’ve liked that haven’t liked me back and have shown no sympathy towards me when they hit the highway. Ever hear a boy proclaim, “Dude that girl is so pretty and fun and smart and really knows her way around the kitchen, but I don’t like her…what’s wrong with me?” I did. Once. In a dream.
So don’t beat yourself up over thinking that something is wrong with you. Love is something that cannot be forced. When there’s no connection, there’s simply no connection. You can try and fake your feelings, but at the end of the day, you know you crave a guy that will rip your clothes off just as bad as you do a guy with a genuine personality. Do give the bloke the benefit of the doubt, but just remember there’s nothing wrong with not always liking the guy.
Oh, and if you were wondering about the other 4% of the ratio? It’s the squirrels.
SOURCES
www.twodaymag.com