We’ve all heard the famous quote, “Don’t make someone your priority when you’re just their option.” Whether we’re talking about relationships or friendships, it can be extremely difficult to keep this in the front of our minds. When our “first priority” does not return the same amount of effort, we subconsciously know it’s the truth—we just don’t want to believe it.
Unfortunately, even during those rare occasions where we know and believe the truth, it isn’t easy to make our priorities just options. If you are making someone your priority, it probably means you truly care about this person. If you care enough about a friend or significant other to go out of your way for the sake of his or her happiness even while knowing, deep down, that you would never receive this treatment if situations were reversed, it may be time to accept the fact that you are not a priority. This is a large enough reason to bite the bullet and discontinue your constant efforts.
So, the real question is, how do we know that a friendship or relationship has gotten to this point? Here are a few telling signs that will signal when you need to worry about this person a little bit less and start taking care of yourself a little bit more:
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You only see him/her when YOU ask for their company. Think about it: when was the last time you saw this person because he or she asked for yours? If you can’t remember, you should hold off next time you have the urge to initiate. Don’t forget that the phone does indeed work both ways.
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You often think to yourself, “We wouldn’t be in contact if it wasn’t for me,” or, “I probably wouldn’t hear from him/her if I stopped texting or calling.” If this thought is one that secretly frequents your mind, stop texting and calling. Test your theory. If you aren’t surprised with the outcome, walk away.
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You find yourself going out of your way to help this person whenever you are needed, but as soon as you’re in a predicament, who is the very last person to help you, if at all? That’s right. You probably guessed correctly. Byeeeee!
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He/she is suddenly kissing your a** (quite out of character) when you have something beneficial to offer. The second you aren’t needed anymore, you are reminded of the hot-and-cold, ghost behavior that you may have forgotten about for the one-week time-span.
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It isn’t unusual for him/her to be too busy or tired to see you, but you make time to see this person, no matter what the circumstances may be. You want to be with them, so you make it happen.
If you are currently experiencing any or all of the above, it’s time to back off a bit. Your friendship is not a good one if you are putting in all of the effort. If this is the case in your current relationship, say goodbye, because you’re not being given what you deserve. Never settle for people who aren’t worthy of having you in their life. They’ll realize what they’re missing eventually, I promise.