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Life

The Do’s and Don’ts of judging someone else’s relationship

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at JMU chapter.

*Full disclosure, these guidelines are directed more so towards the act of speaking your thoughts on a relationship when not asked, but in some cases when you are asked it is probably not best to do so…*

Here are the rules and exceptions!

First, some ground rules about voicing opinions when it comes to relationships. To start there is never a right answer that covers all relationships because each one is different. There is also bias one way or another, whether it is the people in the relationship receiving the advice/opinion or the person voicing their opinion/advice. You should always keep in mind that love can be blinding and some people are just not willing to see or believe things they don’t want to be true.

Second, you should NEVER voice your opinion or give advice about a person:

  •  Out of jealousy under any conditions should you give false/faulty insight or advice.

    • Example: things from the past, negative opinions/ news that has no basis of real facts.

  •  Out of spite or a mere moment of weakness

  •  If you are not sure of the information you are giving. ALWAYS VERIFY and/or consider the consequences:

    • Embarrassing yourself 

    • Giving someone unwanted anxiety or hope, etc.

Lastly are some instances when your opinion and advice may be welcomed with or without initial consent:

  • If the person is your best friend, sister, mother, etc.  Chances are they will give signs or try to provoke you to give your opinion, even so, your opinions/advice would likely be considered (under most circumstances)

  • If your intentions are completely pure and honest, with no ulterior motives then giving your opinion is usually okay, as long as you remember that there are always consequences such as being referenced and/or having someone being angry at you for simply giving that opinion

  • If the opinion/advice will FOR SURE prevent someone from doing something stupid, regrettable, etc.

That’s pretty much all folks, just remember, most of this just comes naturally… if it feels like a bad idea, it probably is, but keeping these guidelines in mind can always be helpful!