After a long day of traipsing through the Baltimorean streets, feeling tired, hungry, and fed up with classes, I head home to my apartment and hope there will be a good snack to eat before I head to work. I want to try and keep healthy, but sometimes it’s hard, with such a busy schedule and immense amounts of stress.
Most often, a snack used to (and sometimes still does) mean a bite of ice cream, a package of cheese crackers, or a few stale Lays Chips. I ask myself what I’m doing to my body. This thought appears kind of a lot when I forget to exercise or I decide to do something silly like be a soccer goalkeeper for 10 years and break all my fingers at least once in the process, but I’m always hearing that the real root to health starts with simple, natural, healthy foods.
I wonder what those are, and then I usually fall asleep. Then my head-ache and dark-eye circles in the morning remind me that, yes, I am still hungry and need to figure out what I can eat today for about ten dollars and in the hour of spare time I’ve got between two jobs and writing these kinds of articles. So I think, “What the hell can I eat?” And it better taste good too, because, you know, I work hard and life’s too short to eat gross food.
After this self-interview process, I happened to discover online one day while trolling the internet the glory that is baked kale chips. It’s probably the cheapest, tastiest, simplest, healthiest, most fantasmagical snack I know how to make. Okay, I know how to make maybe like six “dishes” total but I swear kale chips fit all these descriptions, including that one word I made up. It’s got maybe .0001 calories (not many, you get the idea), the fewest and simplest ingredients, takes no time to make, and tastes like a salty potato chip from the bag. If you can rip up a kale plant and pre-heat an oven, have I got a miracle food for you!
Time: 25 Minutes (Actual attention required: about 3 minutes)
Skill Level: Monkeys could do it
Equipment: Oven (Maybe your niece will lend you her easy-bake.)
Ingredients:
1. 1 Head of Kale, washed and well dried
2. 2 Tablespoons of Olive Oil
3. 3. Sea Salt (enough to sprinkle)
4. 4. Whatever you want to add for flavor (You don’t need to add anything else, but you can get creative and toss in some fresh herbs, garlic, or even soy sauce for a unique flavor.)
Directions:
You’ll probably be tuning into an episode of Netflix in the time it’ll take to read this article and put your kale chips in the oven, so why waste any time?
Start by preheating your oven to about 275 degrees Fahrenheit. If you’ve got your kale cleaned and dried and ready to go, cut the purple-ish stem looking parts (the ribs) and start rippin’.
Some websites will tell you to cut the leaves into specific lengths, but I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t matter. If it looks about “chip” sized, whatever that means to you, it’ll probably be fine. Just know that they’ll shrink a bit in the baking process.
Lay the pieces on a baking sheet, throw some olive oil on in an even-ish coating, and then add your salt, soy sauce, garlic, parsley, cinnamon, dark chocolate sauce, the kitchen sink (no need to go overboard.) Stick ‘em in the oven for like 20 minutes (until bakes), and turn them over halfway through for an even crisp.
Then, voila! You’ve got some classy lookin’ snacks to munch on that are fresh, healthy, and delicious. Happy eating, ladies! You don’t have to starve or be unhealthy in college, contrary to what Ramen noodles are telling you.