Before delving into the ins and outs of safe sex, let’s set one ground rule: keep it consensual. As It’s On Us – a campus sexual assault prevention campaign, launched by the White House last year – highlighted in its most recent star-studded Public Service Announcement (PSA) about consent, “sex without it isn’t sex– it’s rape.” I’ve seen people roll their eyes and laugh at these reminders, but they are important.
A recent psychology study found that, when asked questions including, “Have you ever had sexual intercourse with someone, even though they did not want to, because they were too intoxicated [on alcohol or drugs] to resist your sexual advances?” or “Have you ever had sexual intercourse with an adult when they didn’t want to because you used physical force [twisting their arm, holding them down, etc.] if they didn’t cooperate?”, one in 16 undergraduate men answered “yes.” Shockingly, none of these men viewed themselves as rapists, and were even open to discussing these non-consensual experiences. Studies like these begin to explain how sexual assault prevalence rates are so high, especially for female and LGBT+ survivors.
Just remember: consent needs to be given and received fully consciously and voluntarily, and should continue throughout an encounter (so, if someone is asleep, drunk or otherwise incapacitated, they can’t consent). Legally, definitions of sexual assault vary by state, but on our campus consent is, in part, defined as requiring “a clear ‘yes,’ verbal or otherwise; it cannot be inferred from the absence of a ‘no.’”
Still, you should be looking for verbal and nonverbal cues. It’s important to verbally ask, keeping in mind that, if you don’t get an enthusiastic “yes,” it’s essentially a “no.” Asking applies to every level of hooking up, so a direct form of “Do you want to ____?” is a good rule of thumb. Nonverbally, keep your eye out for reciprocation: Are they kissing you back? Do they seem equally excited?
Plus, communication easily makes for more enjoyable sex! Using phrases like “Would you like it if _____?” not only serves to establish consent, but also helps you understand what your partner is into.
If you or a friend are a survivor of sexual violence, there are resources available:
1. MEDICAL
If you are in or near Baltimore City, visit Mercy Medical Center, 301 St. Paul Place (410-332-9477). At their emergency department, you can see a forensic nurse examiner who has been trained in treating survivors of sexual assault, intimate partner violence and other forms of abuse. Up to 5 days after an assault, you can ask for emergency contraception to prevent pregnancy, antibiotics to protect against common STIs and a “rape kit” examination to preserve and collect any evidence. These treatments are available to all patients, regardless of whether they choose to report their assault to law enforcement. The forensic kits can also be saved – confidentially! – for over a year, providing time to decide whether or not to file a report. If you prefer to stay on campus, you can also purchase treatment, like emergency contraception and testing for sexually transmitted infections, through the Student Health and Wellness Center, 1 E. 31st St. (410-516-8270).
2. REPORTING
To file a complaint with the school (separate from reporting to the police), you can call Homewood Campus Safety & Security (410-516-7777), meet with JHU Title IX Coordinator Allison Boyle (410-516-8075 or aboyle7@jhu.edu) or complete an online form through the Office of Institutional Equity. If you aren’t familiar with your legal rights on campus, you may want to look into these before meeting with a university representative. The university’s Sexual Assault Prevention, Education and Response Coordinator Alyse Campbell (acampb39@jhu.edu) – who oversees both Sexual Assault Resource Unit (SARU) and Bystander Intervention Training (BIT) – can also help you navigate the reporting process. Beyond campus resources, Know Your IX is national campaign that educates students about relevant legislation, like the Clery Act and Title IX. For legal assistance, you can reach out to SurvJustice, a non-profit that supports survivors of sexual violence.
3. COUNSELING
You can also schedule an appointment with a counselor at the Counseling Center, 3003 N. Charles St. (410-516-8278), though you are not guaranteed a same-day appointment (these are rare, but can be requested, especially in emergency cases). If it’s after business hours, or you’d rather not meet face-to-face, you can call the Counseling Center’s 24/7 Sexual Assault Helpline to speak with the on-call counselor (410-516-7333).
4. NAVIGATING
Need more information, before deciding how to proceed? You can call SARU’s 24/7 crisis hotline to speak with a trained student for peer-to-peer crisis intervention and resource referral (410-516-7887 or visit bit.ly/1iiXPW2 to schedule a phone appointment). If you’d rather stick with online resources, the university’s new sexual assault response and prevention website, sexualassault.jhu.edu, also details services available to student survivors.
Photo: http://osocio.org/message/consent-is-hot-assault-is-not