Written By Audrey Hazel
I grew up in a small town. I went to a public high school that was considered “high poverty,” and I made the best of it. While my small school tried to create an environment conducive to learning and success, they could only do so much for me. I have always had ambition and been very self-driven, so I went after every opportunity I could in high school. I took every AP class offered, never struggling to keep a 4.0 GPA. In high school, things were time consuming but were never difficult. I never had a subject that I simply could not understand. In fact, I looked down upon those who couldn’t grasp things easily, I thought they just needed to try a little harder.
When I came to Hopkins, I rode in on my high horse. I told myself I might have to accept a B here and there, that I could not expect to sail through with all As as I had in high school. It took only a few weeks for the expectation of easy good grades and being the smartest one in the class to fade away into the stress of midterm exams. Going into my first round of midterms, I didn’t really know how to study. I never had needed to before, so I didn’t. Obviously, this was a terrible decision. I got an F on my first chemistry exam, something that had never happened to me before. Of course, I then realized I needed to study, and I needed to study a lot. What really baffled me and took a swing at my self-confidence, however, was when I studied for countless hours, studied with a tutor, studied with the professor, and still got an F on the next exam. Granted, I did significantly better on the second exam than the first, but I still didn’t pass.
Since then I have made many adjustments to my study habits, but more importantly to my perspective. I realize now that some things just do not come easily, and that science is not what I am best at in life, and that I really am not as passionate about it as I first thought. The first semester of freshman year has been incredibly humbling, and has made me appreciate having an amazing support system of friends, family, and mentors. College has certainly not been the experience I had expected it to be so far, but I know that this is only the beginning, and that anyone who has struggled this first semester as I have is allowed a fresh start next semester as covered grades end and we can all settle into studying not only what we are more naturally inclined to excel at, but also what we truly enjoy.