With election season fast approaching, whole laundry lists of controversial and pressing issues are being thrown into the public consciousness. This article offers no relief from the controversy- but ADDS to it. A sinister new fad has been sweeping the nation, assaulting the necks of our women-folk: CHOKERS. Originally worn by actual prostitutes, there is no doubt in my mind that these repugnant bands of thread and mesh have the potential to unravel the moral fabric of this Great Nation. In the face of such blatant evil, I turned to the JHU community in the hopes of putting an end to these obvious works of the devil once and for all.
Some misguided women responded, presumably without the consent of their male guardians:
“I think chokers are hot, but I also think they have a certain connotation in society that we should work against” -Maya, 19
“Choker=bad bitch” – Rachel, 20
People were quick to point out the questionable morality of choker wearers:
“Choker! I barely know her!” – Michael, 22
“It means you like getting choked in bed (devil emoji)” – Andrew, 21
“I wanna say that they are for girls who are really into some kinky shit in the bedroom” – josh 22
“Among the underground BDSM community wearing a choker indicates that the individual is willing to participate in “pet play” where the wearer will walk around on hands and knees, meowing occasionally.” – anonymous
“It definitely means the girl likes anal… By the way are you doing anything later?” – anonymous asked choker-clad interviewer
Finally, two upstanding citizens responded with the truth about chokers:
“I think it just further highlights how the moral foundation of this country is crumbling” – Christian, 21
“The only accessory that should be worn around the neck is a necklace with a cross venerating our lord and savior Jesus Christ” – anonymous