Note: This is a satirical article meant to specifically describe how JHU’s campus was affected by the storm; we apologize if the content came across as insensitive. Our thoughts and prayers go out to everyone who was negatively affected by hurricane Joaquin. If interested, please consider donating to Red Cross’s disaster relief efforts. Red Cross has opened shelters to flood victims: https://www.redcross.org/donate/donation
1. Rum has been sold out at Eddie’s thanks to students making homemade hurricanes.
2. People over-prepared and now their apartments look like the basement hoards from extreme couponer’s for canned goods.
3. Joaquin Pheonix’s google alerts have exploded thanks to the memes and tweets.
4. Half of the Varsity lost power for 20 minutes. People desperate for free printing sobbed.*
5. Some of the lacrosse bros’ scooters were subject to water damage. Hope they have insurance!
6. We didn’t get a funny twitter feed like we did with Superstorm Sandy, and she was just a superstorm, not a category 4 hurricane!
7. No one knows how to pronounce Joaquin and we sound a lot more stupid than we think we are (THIS IS HOPKINS DAMMIT).
But hey, at least we got some hurricane snapchat filters? Guess there IS always a silver lining to the storm.
*edit: it was later discovered that a squirrel had chewed through a power line.
Photos: http://news.moviefone.com/2015/10/02/joaquin-phoenix-jokes-flood-the-internet-as-east-coast-preps-for-hurricane/ & https://twitter.com/SANDYTHEHCAN