Well, summer vacation is finally upon us (cue the High School Musical 2 soundtrack), and my favorite summer activity is going to see all of the new movies that are coming to theaters! So, here for your convenience, is a list of some of the best movies coming out this summer, in order of release, as well as how I feel about each of them.
Enjoy:
May 5– Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
I am real pumped for this. Usually I would be skeptical of a Marvel sequel (I mean, Iron Man 2 and 3 were weak, Thor 2 was weak, Age of Ultron was weak) but after the game-changing thrills of The Winter Soldier, I have hope. Plus, the first Guardians of the Galaxy was so out of left field and still managed to be great, so.
May 12– Snatched
This comedy stars Amy Schumer who goes on a road trip with her mom to Latin America and ends up getting into all sorts of trouble. It looks funny enough, so if you’re in the mood for a good ol comedy to see with your friends, here you go.
May 12– King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
This action drama looks at the classic tale of King Arthur of Camelot. Personally, I am way too invested in Arthurian legends, and this looks not accurate, so I’m going to have to ask you all to go see this and let me know how it is. #NotMyKingArthur
May 19– Alien: Covenant
I absolutely refuse to watch scary movies, and this sci-fi thriller looks really scary, so it’s a no from me, but if you’re into sci-fi or scary stuff, and also if you liked the first Alien movie, go for it.
May 19– Everything, Everything
Oh boy. This teen romance stars the girl who played Rue in the Hunger Games (the lovely Amandla Stenberg), who has an illness that keeps her inside. Until one day she falls for the boy-next-door and they struggle to be together despite her illness–basically think of The Fault in Our Stars, but not cancer, Me Before You, but not quadriplegic, or If I Stay, but not a coma. If you’re into those tear-jerker romances, this is definitely for you. Sidenote: this is also a book, and the book has gotten called out for a lot of ableism, so there’s that too.
May 25– Baywatch
Zac Efron and Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson, two perfect human beings that this world does not deserve, star in this action-comedy about lifeguarding. I honestly am not sure what the plot is, but it doesn’t matter. My love for Zac Efron will never die and I am there.
May 26– Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
Yep, they’re doing another one. Johnny Depp returns as Captain Jack Sparrow in the fifth installment of a movie series based entirely off of a Disney World ride. Don’t get me wrong, I love these movies and I support anyone who is going to see this, but I can’t help but worry that this will be more of the same.
June 2–Wonder Woman
YASSSSSSSSSSSSS. I am unbelievably excited for this movie. Midnight premiere. Can’t wait. First stand-alone female superhero leading movie. Omg.
June 9–The Mummy
Another horror movie, this time about some fantasy princess zombie? It has Tom Cruise, but still not for me.
June 16–Cars 3
I really want to know who the guy is that went to Disney Pixar and said, “Listen, I want to make a trailer for Cars 3. But not your regular trailer for kids that’s got lots of happy music and jokes and stuff. We’re gonna make this trailer real intense. Like, say, what if we just kill off Lightning McQueen. Not actually, but we’ll make it look like we do. Just straight up kill Lightning McQueen.”
June 23–Transformers: The Last Knight
“Girl are you a transformer, cause you Optimus Fine.” (I have not seen any of these movies, so I’m sorry I have no opinion, I have nothing to say) (Also some guy actually used that line on me one time) (It did not work)
June 23–The Big Sick
Now THIS is a romantic comedy. Pakistani-comic Kumail Nanjiani plays a man trying to navigate cultural differences with his American girlfriend, played by Zoe Kazan. Diversity presented in a cute, funny, thought-provoking way? I’m down.
June 30– Despicable Me 3
Nooooo. I love Steve Carrell to death, but this has got to stop. If I see one more piece of Minion merchandise, I will scream. I can’t do it. These movies started out cute, if not an average kid’s movie, but this is out of control.
July 7– Spider-Man: Homecoming
YESYESYESYESYES. Okay, I know we’re all worn out from the endless Spider-Man reboots, but whatever. I am SO READY for Tom Holland to steal my heart and for there to be a well-done, Marvel Spider-Man movie. I will be there for the midnight premiere, and then go back again the next day, just you wait.
July 14–War for the Planet of the Apes
My father would kill me if I didn’t include this, but honestly, I could not care less. Why are we getting another one of these?? At least it has Andy Serkis, cause God forbid a CGI-heavy animated movie not have Andy Serkis.
July 21–Dunkirk
Yes, this is a Christopher Nolan-directed WWII thriller. But also. THIS IS THE MOVIE PREMIERE OF HARRY STYLES. Not to be dramatic, but I would die for Harry Styles. Let me have this.
July 28– The Dark Tower
This is a complicated movie. It’s got some Old West stuff going on, but also a sci-fi fantasy vibe? Mostly it’s a thriller with Matthew McConaughey (all right all right all right) and a lot of people are really excited about it. (I’m not really sure why?) Watch the trailer, see what you think.
August 11– Baby Driver
A crime thriller, this movie has got lots of familiar faces (Ansel Elgort from The Fault in Our Stars, Lily James from the live-action Cinderella, Jamie Foxx, Jon Hamm, etc.). Ansel Elgort plays a getaway driver who basically just gets himself into a mess. Definitely looks entertaining, but I will probably wait till it comes out on DVD.
August 18– The Hitman’s Bodyguard
Wow, this action-comedy has got Samuel L. Jackson and Ryan Reynolds working together on a trial. There is literally no way that this movie won’t be good.
Well, that’s all I’ve got. Sorry if I missed one that you’re excited about. Like I said, this is just a selection–there are obviously LOTS of other movies that are coming out. HAVE A GREAT SUMMER!!