This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at JCU chapter.
How would my closest friends describe me in three words? Clumsy, klutzy, and accident-prone.
For those of you who can’t seem to get through the day without somehow embarrassing yourself, we are kindred spirits. *Bonus points if you’ve gotten to the point that it happens so much you don’t even feel shame anymore, you just laugh. You are what I like to call a “Gold Standard Klutz.”
If you can sheepishly admit that you completely relate to a few of these points, it’s okay, they’re ALL a part of my daily struggle. I’ve started to think about investing in one of those human sized hamster balls in a vain attempt at protecting myself and those around me, but it’s still in the works. Good luck fellow klutzes, don’t break a leg.
- Not only do I fall down stairs, I fall UP stairs. That’s talent.
- Flirting is a painstaking experience, because the whole time I’m just counting down the minutes until I somehow bring shame upon myself. But it’s all part of the charm, right?
- Seeing a cord in your path, being aware of its existence and its distance from your flailing, uncoordinated body, and STILL somehow tripping over it as you walk past.
- Waking up with various bruises on your body is not a cause for concern anymore, you just expect it by now.
- Wearing white is just not an option. My tide to-go pen is no match for my incredible ability to spill more of whatever I’m eating on my shirt than what actually ends up in my mouth.
- Falling is such a common occurrence, that I have mastered it to an art form. I know exactly how to land in order for minimal injury. (fun fact: if you’ve ever taken ice-skating lessons, one of the first things they teach you is how to fall “correctly.” It goes without saying that was the only lesson I did well in.)
- Accidently punching people, stepping on toes, falling onto others, etc. I’m not rude, I swear, I just cannot control my body about 99.99% of the time.
- The second it gets icy outside I am on defense at all times. No amount of traction on my boots will help, I will wipe out at least four times each winter.
- Store displays with anything breakable + tight aisles = my definition of a living nightmare. “You break it, you buy it” is a terrifying string of words.
- Carrying a bowl of soup or too-full cup of anything liquid results in a weird baby-step shuffle to prevent spilling it all over the floor/other people. This was one of the two most valuable lessons I learned being a busgirl. The other lesson was profusely apologizing when I spill hot coffee or soup on customers. My boss didn’t know what to do with me.
- Those ridiculous people you laugh at in the infomercials that can’t seem to carry out simple, daily tasks? That’s me.
- I smacked my head on the bottom of my lofted bed so hard that I got a mild concussion. On the bright side, I got an extension on taking my Spanish test (When you’re as accident prone as me, it’s all about finding those silver linings).