Unfortunately, in today’s world, you not only have to worry solely on your relationship, you also have to worry about what your partner is doing. When people get cheated on it mentally and physically destroys them. Usually, the cheater, sees that they did nothing wrong, or did not cheat at all. Cheating is not just physical, it can be deleting messages, flirting with the opposite sex, trading other pictures of people with friends, and even more. Not a lot of people understand how much cheating really affects your life. When cheated on, you don’t just get over it, it drags on for months.
1. Finding out
When you realize that your partner has been cheating or cheated just once, it rocks you to your core. It feels as if the world stopped turning. Everything is so silent for that split second, you could hear a whisper from across the world. Your heart stops beating, and falls into the pit of your stomach. Then the silence goes away and it’s as if you entered hell with everyone screaming in pain. You start screaming, lashing out, crying, asking why over and over again. Wondering how could you be so stupid and not know that this was going on. You start using those five “W” questions you learned in elementary school. What could I have done to prevent this? Why did they do this? Who was it with and do I know them? Where could they have gone to make this possible? When was I so stupid to not realize this? Then the killer question comes to your mind, do they really even love you?
2. The Aftershock
You start asking why, why and why. You want to know every excruciating detail. Deep in your brain you know you shouldn’t be getting those answers, but deep down in your heart, you need them. Hopefully your partner will understand, and sit down with you and explain. But, if you are not so lucky and they walk away, you will get frustrated. Try to relax as much as possible, talk with the gentlest voice you can, and try to get them to sit down. Know that you’re asking for the answers, don’t get too upset when you hear something that hurts you.
(Photo by Yoann Boyer)
3. Chocolate, Gym, and Tissues
This is the time when you start to question yourself. What’s wrong with me? You question every tiny flaw you might have. You cry and cry while eating tons of chocolate, thinking, comparing yourself to every person you can. Then the next day, you get up, eat healthy, be productive and go to the gym. The very next day, you relapse with more chocolate. You dress up and take great selfies to post all over your social media every day. Praying it makes your ex-partner jealous. You try to call and text your ex-partner a million times. You know you shouldn’t but you can’t help but think about what they are doing. This phase can go on for a few weeks.
4. Accepting
It might be months until you reach this phase. It’s okay to not be okay. You start to realize that you did dodge a bullet. Everything happens for a reason. That nobody that truly loves you would every put you in this position. Go out and have fun. You still have so much of life in front of you. Do not let some selfish person ruin you. It’s going to take time, but you are strong enough to get through it.
Soon enough you will wake up every morning and smile, instead of thinking of what happened. Though it might take time, you will trust again, and be able to put your heart and soul into someone else. You deserve to be treated like a queen or king. Realize that if you thought that relationship was true love, imagine the amount of true, never-ending love, and happiness your soulmate will give you.
Cover image by Vlad Chernolyasov