When you are in love with someone, everything seems to be happy. You see yourself as Barbie and Ken. Regardless of whatever fights may happened along the way, the good always outweighs the bad. You don’t think that person can do anything wrong. You don’t find any flaws. You definitely don’t want to do anything that could risk you losing them.
Though, they might have different ideas. They may see love in a different way. Maybe their love includes another person/people. Or their idea of love is taking you for granted. In this world, it is so difficult to find the right person without going through hell and back. If you’re lucky enough to just have to dip your toes in the water, then we all are incredibly jealous. But, if you’re anything like the rest of the world population, the trip can be rocky. After your former lover turns their back on you, it usually makes you stronger. Regardless, they leave you in pieces only for you to pick up yourself. Here are a few steps to start the journey of moving on.
1. Block, Block and Block.
(Photo by Joao Silas)
As hard as it can be, pull yourself together for just five minutes. Whether it’s in person or through a text, say goodbye for good. Even if you plan on staying friends, you can’t heal if you are talking to them. Realize, even if you are trying to stay friends, you can’t trust them as a friend right now and you need that time to heal and regain the trust. Say or send that goodbye, go on all social media and block them. It could be hard, but block their number too. Hearing from them can make you relapse right back into their arms, breaking your heart a little bit more.
2. Distract yourself.
(Photo by Alicante Mediterranean Homes)
Personally, when I went through this, I had all my homework done usually as soon as I could. It would leave me bored through the week, causing me to go to the gym a lot more than I usually have gone before. When I was done at the gym, I would check for more homework. Realizing I didn’t’t have anymore to do, I cleaned my room, leaving it spotless. This was and still is an ongoing cycle for me. It’s hard to not think about them or the situation in general. You have to push through it and put you first. Go out with some friends, go to the library, go to the gym or maybe lose yourself in a good book. Sometimes in relationships, we are so caught up in the other person we forget about ourselves. When you finally focus on yourself, it can be the best feeling in the world. You realize that in any relationship moving on, you need to make yourself a priority.
3. Don’t watch too much Netflix
(Photo by Charles Deluvio)
I know. This can be really hard to do. Watching Netflix or any TV show for a long period of time is giving your brain down time. This is when I start to think about my ex or the situation a lot more. I look at my phone constantly for a text from them. I unblock their number, hoping to hear from them. This is when I am usually tempted to give in. Just to throw a text to them hoping they had a nice day. One thing leads to another and you’re calling each other. Relapsing right back into their arms. Netflix is usually the go to in this situation, however, do anything but watch Netflix.
4. Paradise
(Photo by Clem Onojeghuo)
There comes a time when you think of them, most likely the good memories. Nonetheless, if you think about the good or bad, you realize that your heart doesn’t’t feel as bad when they run across your mind. You can look at things that once reminded you of them and think nothing at all. You can finally flirt and try to talk to other people without feeling guilty. You can go through your daily routine feeling like yourself with no doubt. You can unblock them on social media, unblock their number and maybe ask them how they are. You were the bigger person. No matter how long it took you to get to this spot, you should be extremely proud of yourself.
When people who only think of themselves decided to break your heart into pieces, it can feel like the end of the world. Of course, you might lose yourself for a day or two. It is okay to lose yourself, as long as you find yourself afterwards. Become a better you, and realize that everything happens for a reason.