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Surviving Valentine’s Day When He’s Just Not That Into You

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at IU chapter.


It’s getting closer and closer to Valentine’s Day and you still don’t know if you’re loving or hating this countdown. Your confused state-of-mind has led you to the chocolates and candies aisle of the nearest CVS. Your head is clouded with his mixed signals and your decision to purchase a sweet something for him this Valentine’s Day fluctuates as you evaluate whether you and your man are on the gift-giving level. To help make your decision a little less stressful, here’s a check-off list of signs that he’s just not that into you:

He’s just not that into you if he’s not calling.

Let me guess. You are spending your evenings staring at your non-vibrating phone making up excuses for why he’s not talking to you. Stop telling yourself that he dropped his phone in the toilet and stop yelling at your mom for checking in on you when you find out it was her calling instead of him. Truth is, he’s probably just not that into you. Of course there’s the possibility that he’s in a meeting in Ballantine (we all know there’s no hope for signal in there), but chances are he’s not talking to you because he doesn’t want to. Ouch, I know. But you know what else is going to hurt? Looking back a month from now and realizing how much time you wasted waiting on him to send, “sup?”

He’s just not that into you if he’s not asking you out.

Something is seriously wrong if he’s labeling himself as “not relationship material.” He’s not nervous about asking you out and he’s really not that emotionally damaged. He’s not asking you out because he doesn’t want a relationship with you. He doesn’t want to feel obligated to buy you flowers this upcoming hallmark holiday and he really doesn’t want to meet your parents. So, if you’re looking to make it Facebook official, your best bet is just to “unfriend” him and move on.

He’s just not that into you if he’s strictly sleeping with you.

I’m sure you’re getting tired of the 3 a.m. invitations to his bedroom. The worst part is that this is probably the only kind of invitation you have been getting. He’s not calling to spoon with you and whisper sweet nothings in your ear. He’s using you. And no, it doesn’t count as dating even if he lets you spend the night afterward. If he’s sleeping with you, but not buying you dinner, he’s just not that into you – emotionally, at least. Keep your phone on silent and throw your comfiest granny panties on tonight because you’re staying in and moving on.

He’s just not that into you if he’s hooking up with other girls.

Nothing screams “red flag” like finding risqué pictures of him with multiple girls in your news feed. If you’re not the only one, he’s just not that into you. There’s no excuse that you could make for him on this one. The only thing that comes out of this is a broken heart and a bunch of new insecurities. Don’t pick yourself apart. Your boobs don’t have to look like Pamela Anderson’s and your jean size shouldn’t make you cry. The best cure for this is to simply get inspired … by “John Tucker Must Die.”


If you scored one or more on the survey above, you should probably treat yourself to the three C’s: chocolate, Cosmo and champagne. This guy is obviously not worth your time, money or energy. Make this Valentine’s Day about you and cheers to many more fish in the sea!

Kelsey is a junior at Indiana University where she is majoring in journalism and concentrating in informatics. She began her Her Campus experience as a contributing writer in Fall 2012. Kelsey was incredibly excited to begin her new role on the HCIU team as co-campus correspondent last fall. When she's not studying or writing, Kelsey enjoys a sipping a strong cup o' joe, reviving thrift store wardrobes and drooling over Netflix eye candy.