Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo

10 Reasons Why Chipotle Is The Perfect Boyfriend

This is a sponsored feature. All opinions are 100% from Her Campus.

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Ithaca chapter.

Are you sick of being single? Are you the master of third-wheeling and can’t seem to get your own boyfriend? Don’t worry; we’ve found the perfect substitute for a significant other for girls everywhere. Something that’ll always be there for you, is a great listener and is also delicious? Get ready for the greatest thing that’s ever happened to you: Chipotle. Don’t believe me? Here are some reasons as to why Chipotle is the perfect soulmate:

 

1. Chipotle will never say no to you.

Extra guac? No problem! Taco shells on the side? Go right ahead! Unlike a boyfriend, Chipotle won’t say no to you when you want to watch a girly chick flick instead of a disturbing horror movie. Chipotle will take your demands with an open heart and open burrito bowl.

 

2. Chipotle will never ask you to meet its extended family.

The only thing Chipotle wants from you is your love and affection. There is no giant family party you need to attend and awkwardly introduce yourself to everyone while simultaneously forgetting their names. Nothing is ever complicated with dear, spicy Chipotle and we like it that way.

 

3. Chipotle is always there for you.

Chipotle is never too busy hanging with his friends or playing video games to give you a time of day. You always know where to find Chipotle, and it’ll never ignore you in your time of need. Chipotle is always there for you right when you want it, no questions asked, no matter what.

 

4. Chipotle is always exactly what you ask for.

You custom make your meal at Chipotle, so nothing can go wrong. There are no character flaws and it’s always VERY attractive. Chipotle is pretty much the equivalent to your dream guy.

 

5. Chipotle will never break up with you.

You’ll never want to end your relationship with Chipotle, and it feels the same. Even if you haven’t seen Chipotle in a while, they’ll never get angry about it or forget about you. Chipotle will let you back in with open arms.

 

6. You can go to Chipotle every day and not get sick of it.

While you may need a break every once in a while from a boyfriend, you’ll never need one from Chipotle. Heck, you’d even go to Chipotle more than once a day if you could afford it (and the calories).

 

7. You’ll always be satisfied.

While a boyfriend might leave you wanting more, Chipotle knows just how to satisfy you. Finishing a burrito will have you WAY more satisfied than any man’s attempt at fulfilling your needs. Because you call the shots at Chipotle, you’ll never be let down.

 

8. Chipotle always smells good.

Have you ever hung out with your boyfriend after he’s had practice or just hit the gym? Definitely NOT an ideal smell. Unlike a stinky boyfriend, Chipotle’s delicious aroma will always excite you and leave you wanting more. No more dirty laundry that you have to deal with piled in the corner of his room. The only thing that will fill your nose from now on is Chipotle’s yumminess.

 

9. You don’t need to seek approval from friends or family about Chipotle.

Everyone already loves it, so there’s no chance that your grandma will question your new significant other when you bring Chipotle back one night. Instead of being nervous about a new boyfriend meeting your strict father for the first time, you know that Chipotle will immediately win his heart.

 

10. The only baby you need to worry about is a food baby.

No real pregnancy scares when you’re dealing with Chipotle! Unlike a real boyfriend, you know you’ll always be protected when it comes to Chipotle. The only baby names you’ll need to come up with are the ones for your enormous stomach emerging after you finish your burrito.

 

Elizabeth is an avid Panera eater/dog lover from Middletown, New Jersey. She has never pumped gas a day in her life and plans to keep it that way. She is currently pursuing a major in Integrated Marketing Communications, but only until Mark McMorris realizes that she's his soulmate. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram at @lizzygulino