As a teenager, I frequently woke up to a wave of anxiety going through my body. It was not the stress of high school or friendships but it was the fear of waking up with yet another zit on my face. Not a single day passed by with me waking up to “flawless” skin. I would cover it, horribly I might add, with concealer or I would do the mole hack, where you would place a dot of brown eyeliner on the pimple. Every single day I woke up feeling ashamed of how I looked and I would compare myself to the beautiful, clear faces of my classmates.
You would not believe the amount of money I spent on drugstore products that did NOT clear my skin AT ALL. It was frustrating because I believed that I was not beautiful and no one would love a girl who had acne. I was afraid of the judgement on my appearance. I was afraid that I could never be accepted. When individuals would point out my acne or acne scars, my self-confidence or self-love would completely disappear. I was shattered. I was angry not only with those who pointed it out but also with myself. I did not know what self-love or self-confidence was. And I did not know it that loving and accepting every flaw could be liberating.
I do not recall the exact moment that I decided that I was beautiful, even with my flaws. It was probably when I was a senior in high school, when it clicked in my mind that my acne was a part of me that I could not let control my life. I had created these nonexistent voices in my head that would call me ugly. I created the idea that people were out to get me. When I finally came to terms with this, I was carefree and happy. I would roam around high school with my acne and I held my head high. Even now in college, I am mostly barefaced but I also enjoy wearing makeup.
My skin cleared once I found self-love. As I stopped stressing over my appearance, pimples would not appear on my skin often. I started using cruelty-free products and simplified my skin care routine. I have learned that drugstore products do not work on me since it strips the oils of my face, which actually creates more acne. Here is my skin routine for the girls with oily skin:
- African Black Soap
- Rose Petal Witch Hazel toner
- Tea Tree oil
- Rosehip oil
- Turmeric face mask
If you suffer from acne, do not lose your calm nor your patience because results will come through. This process has no instantaneous results since it could be a battle that could last for years. However, when you accept these flaws, your inner beauty will radiate through your pores.