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Confessions of a Campus Bartender

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Illinois chapter.

College: where the weekend starts right after class on Thursday. On any given night, the campus bars can be packed with students, and we, your bartenders, are there to facilitate your nights. You may think you know your favorite spot inside and out, but it’s a very different world from behind the bar. If you want a successful night out, keep these few things in mind.

1. We will treat you how you treat us.

I will be more than happy to go back to someone who smiled at me and was polite when they ordered the first round of drinks just as I am less inclined to serve someone who screamed my name from across the bar for 15 minutes trying to get my attention. And if for some reason you do insist on yelling a bartender’s name, make sure you’re yelling the right one. One guy in particular yelled “Sharon!” at me the whole night, and while I applaud his attempt, he did not get served by me for obvious reasons. So in a nutshell, common courtesy is welcomed and greatly appreciated.

2. Name dropping doesn’t work.

It’s great that we both share a friend in common, but name-dropping an employee who isn’t working won’t do much for you unless you’re standing with them. And in that case, have them order the drinks. Spoiler alert: if you name-drop someone, we will 100% bring it up to that person, and then it’s just weird for everyone. Overall, it’s probably not the best idea.

3. We can see everything.

We saw when you and your current fling were making out two feet away from the bar; we saw you dancing by yourself on the dance floor to Miley Cyrus, and we saw that one time you tripped and spilled an entire drink down your shirt. And let me tell you, it was awesome. So when weird things go down, you better believe that we’ve seen it and we’re probably laughing. But don’t take it personally. We’re not laughing at you, we’re laughing at your rendition of “Teach Me How to Dougie” while wearing a cow suit.

4. It’s hard work.

By one o’clock, we are exhausted. By 1:30, I’m ready to crawl into bed and watch Netflix for the rest of my life. Even though we have pumped you full of mixed drinks for the past three hours, and your left leg is twitching from all the sugar, it is extremely demanding to work from 8 p.m. to 3:30 a.m. Although it’s a fun job, it’s not always easy.

5. We absolutely love our jobs.

Our campus bar staff feels like a second family, and we wouldn’t trade that for the world. It feels wrong spending too much time in another bar, and I definitely get homesick if I haven’t visited mine for a while. Bar jobs have found people best friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, future coworkers and anything else you can imagine because we like to keep it in the family. And for that, we are eternally grateful.

So if you’re thinking about joining the ranks, you’re making the right choice. If not, then all we ask is to keep these things in mind. It will make for a better night for both of us.

A senior at the University of Illinois, Elizabeth spends half of her time in denial of her impending graduation and the other half acting as Editor-in-Chief/ President/Campus Correspondent for the site you're on now, Her Campus Illinois. Her favorite color is pink, which makes this position a match made in heaven. Still trying to figure out what she wants to be when she grows up, her passions lie in writing, digital marketing, social media and fashion. Connect with her on Twitter and Instagram @champaigngirl. And if you prefer good, old fashioned email, reach her at elizabethdeuel@hercampus.com.