Oh Valentine’s Day… The most hyped Hallmark holiday that’s haunted us for as long as we can remember. Once Super Bowl weekend is over, the pressure is on for couples to get the perfect gift for their significant other. Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of love but I hate Valentine’s Day. It’s an excuse of a day to “recognize” your sweetheart but realistically, there’s 364 other days to do so. February 14th falls on a Saturday this year, which works out great; I can utilize this entire day to do nothing! Since I don’t have a “bae”, this is how I plan to spend my Valentine’s Day.
11 a.m. – 3 p.m.: Watch sappy, romantic movies so I can pretend that I’m thoroughly involved in these fictional characters’ lives. Because if you’re a bird, then I’m a bird. Am I right?
3 p.m. – 3:05 p.m.: Order a heart shaped pizza.
3:40 p.m. – 3:50 p.m.: Finish the entire pizza (maybe share one or two slices with roommates, save a slice for later).
3:50 p.m. – 5 p.m.: Nap.
5 p.m. – 6 p.m.: Play dress up with friends who are also single so we can pretend we are going on an extravagant dinner date.
6 p.m. – 6:01 p.m.: Consider texting my ex because all my friends are about to go to dinner with their boyfriends and girlfriends.
6:02 p.m.: Decide that it is in my best interest to not do that, or even think about doing that ever again.
6:05 p.m. – 6:30 p.m.: Text all my friends to see if their sweethearts got them a good gift and if they liked their gifts. Also to ask when they’re coming home and getting ready to go out.
6:30 p.m. – 9 p.m.: Patiently wait for everyone to come back from dinner to see if they brought left overs for me :)
9:01 p.m. – 9:10 p.m.: Get to store, debate on wine or whiskey.
9:11 p.m. – 9:20 p.m.: Call best friend. “My day was really great, I did so much. I went on a date, actually two dates. Papa John’s and now I’m about to hang out with my boy, Jack Daniel’s… Yeah I know, I suck.”
9:30 p.m.: Cheers to the single life with all of my friends.
I’ll let you guys know how the rest of my night goes later, but I can almost guarantee I went home and cuddled with my real babe, Papa John’s.