Alcohol comes in many different flavors and brands. Once we turn of age, we all take the trip into Binny’s. Sometimes, certain drinks remind us of our friends and classmates. Sometimes these drinks remind us of ourselves at one point. Which college booze reminds you of yourself? Would you be more of a merlot or moonshine?
Burnett’s
Burnett’s is the stereotypical college freshman. You often see Burnett’s speed-walking to his 9 a.m. with his lanyard and ID worn around his neck. Burnett’s likes to take shots in his dorm room on weeknights just because he can, and then tweets about it so all his friends know how drunk he got on a Wednesday. One time Burnett’s forgot that his water bottle was actually filled with vodka, but that didn’t stop him from drinking it during class. Burnett’s is having a great first year of college but has to spend a lot of his time un-tagging himself from Facebook pictures so his mom doesn’t see him misbehaving.
Franzia
Franzia holds a special place in your heart. Franzia likes to spend her weekends wearing sweatpants, watching rom-coms, and ordering take-out. Franzia will always invite you to join her, and will listen when you tell her about how long and stressful your week was. She usually walks into lecture halls around five minutes late because the line at Starbucks was longer than she expected. Since she was already there, she got you a Skinny Vanilla Latte because she knows it’s your favorite. Yes, sometimes Franzia is way too emotional, but you love her anyways; you wouldn’t want to spend your weekends in with anyone else.
Everclear
Everclear is a transfer student in your major who sits behind you in a class. He came to your school because he read that it was one of the top 10 party schools in America. Sometimes you overhear Everclear talking about his weekend before class starts. Last weekend, he ran away from the cops for trying to rob the sketchy gas station a few blocks from your apartment; he doesn’t remember any of it. The weekend before that, he ended up on top of a school building at 3 in the morning. He doesn’t remember that, either.
Pabst Blue Ribbon
PBR loves vintage stores, cigarettes, and music festivals. He loves talking to you about bands you’ve never heard of and foreign films that most definitely did not play at a theatre near you. You went on a date with PBR once, expecting him to be interesting and funny, but it turns out, he was actually really bland and super pretentious.
Jungle Juice
Jungle Juice invited you to a party at his frat house once. You don’t like to talk about it.