With having our first ever male writer on our HerCampus Illinois State team, we put him straight to work answering questions on what are some things that girls do that guys don’t understand. And his response is EPIC. So without further ado, here is the first edition of HisCampus, written by Jack Sutherland.
It’s only fitting that my first assignment on the HerCampus team is to write about girls. I feel like a fly on the wall at a slumber party with the only difference being that I have imposable thumbs and a notebook to write down girl secrets to take back to the ‘Man Cave’ and scheme about how to use the newfound intel. Okay, it may not be like that but in my head I wish it was. What I am finding out however, is just how hard it is to understand the way girls act. It is no secret that the opposite sex never truly knows the truth about their counterpart (think Albert from the movie Hitch, yet without a relationship doctor and a classic rom-com ending). So, on that note I decided to make a little list for my first article. This not an ordinary list you will find on HC about Halloween costumes or how-to’s on destroying perfectly good t-shirts with scissors. But, this list will be from the guy’s perspective on things I just can’t quite understand about the college female. Let’s get into it.
1. High Waisted Shorts: It’s not that I have a particular problem with girls wearing these interesting pinterest influenced thrift shop articles of clothing, but rather, that I find it hard to believe that you enjoy sporting said shorts. I understand that it is becoming a trend maybe for those attending Pitchfork Music Festival or the select few that live in a Brooklyn hipster training camp (if only those existed, I think they are making a documentary about it. It’s called Girls on HBO). But how has it taken off so fast with college girls? While discussing this with my male cohort we have all inferred that they must be the most uncomfortable thing to wear. From what I gather, unless you are attending a KISS concert in the early nineties or your name is Kimmy Gibbler I would recommend leaving the high waisted shorts in the drawer. But hey, the way women’s fashion tends to be going from the guy perspective I wouldn’t be surprised if I am writing about neon leg warmers in a couple years.
2. Girl Logic: Now, I can talk about flawed girl logic for a couple of days but I don’t want to take up any more of your procrastination time with guy rants. So I will talk about how girls think in relation to calories. I would like to point out that just because you skipped breakfast on Tuesday, it doesn’t justify getting a bigger blizzard at dairy queen on Saturday as if the completely independent events are in some way connected. Now I am all about getting the bigger blizzard on a Saturday, but why do you feel the need to find some sort of justification to enjoy something. I know the world is much more health conscience but you don’t need to convince me why you ordered what you did as if you are defending yourself on the Supreme Court. Eat what you want and be happy about it!
3. Instagram Pictures: Instagram is a great thing. I use it myself and I love that I can connect with my friends and see what they are up to. But if you are out on a Friday night with the girls and a picture is taken, so help me god, if that caption says “#lovethesegirls” I don’t think we can be friends anymore. Raise your hand at your computer if you are guilty of this and we all can forgive you for the caption sin you committed in the past. You are absolved.
4. Rumchata: Why, just why?
5. Bathroom trips: Chances are you took the above “#lovethesegirls” picture from #3 in a bathroom with the other half of your sorority but I just wonder how you all managed to fit in a bathroom at The Olive Garden. This has trumped guys’ thoughts for the longest time and I know I cannot formulate a good enough answer for me to stop thinking about it. Ladies, please let us know if there is some sort of Harry Potter Ministry of Magic-esk portal in every stall in the girls bathroom so we know why you actually have to leave every meal/party we go to.
Now I know these are only a fraction of all the things I don’t understand about girls and that’s OK. I also know that me telling you what I don’t understand about you will not change anything either. But, if this can shed some light on the otherwise lost thoughts about why girls do what they do in my head then I have accomplished something. The great thing about guys and girls is that we don’t get each other and that’s what keeps things interesting. Keep being you and we will keep being Albert from Hitch.