Attention all sorority girls: Formal season is just around the corner and that means once the shoes, dress and jewelry are all picked out, you’re going to need to remember how to act. Here are some tips of advice for things to do and things not to do when the big night arrives!
THINGS NOT TO DO:
DON’T: Cry. Please, for the sake of your date and your best friend who will have to be the one consoling you in the bathroom, leave the water works at home. At this point in time, while everyone is drunk and on the dance floor, no one cares if you spilled sauce on your dress or if you accidentally butt dialed your parents. It will all seem irrelevant in the morning so for now, wipe away your tears, put on a smile and go try to hook up with your date before the sober monitor stops you.
DON’T: Throw up. We’ve all been there, done that, but really? Tonight? At formal? On your dates shoes? That’s disgusting. You just made it clearly obvious for your friends, the security guys, and the hotel janitors that are going to have to clean your puke out of the potted plant in the morning that you have had WAY too much to drink tonight. There is no blaming it on food poisoning now, with your head hanging like a rag doll and little chunks of tonight’s salad plastered in your once-did updo, you obviously need to go home.
DON’T: Hook up with another sister’s date. You do not, under any circumstances, want to enter this situation unless you have full verbal/written consent from a sister to hook up with her date. Even if she claims to be “just friends” with him, don’t do it. How many times have you claimed to be “just friends” with a guy you’re actually madly in love with? This guy could be your sisters’ second coming of Channing Tatum, and if so, you do not want to interfere by sticking your tongue down his throat.
DON’T: Bring your fake ID. Don’t you know you have a big for a reason? What, you think she’s just there to shower you in hundreds of dollars’ worth of clothing & koozies? No, she’s also there to hook you up with the free-flowing alcohol that is one of the perks of formal! If she’s not 21 yet, go butter up your Grand-Big and have her snag you a few Bud Lights. Just don’t be stupid enough to risk your fake getting taken away at formal nonetheless, save that for Six Strings or Daddios.
DON’T: Fight at formal. If you really think your sisters want to watch you and your date going at it in the corner of the room, you have another thing coming. Honestly, there’s booze, your sisters, and dancing. What could be SO bad that you have to tear your date away from the fun and festivities just to yell at him for a half hour that only leaves you in tears? Don’t ruin everyone else’s fun just because you feel the need to let out your anger the one night you’re not supposed to. This is formal, not Fight Club.
THINGS TO DO:
DO: Look classy. Just because you’re at college and don’t have to stand for an hour at high school dance pictures while your friends parents critique your outfit DOES NOT give you leeway to dress like a high class prostitute. I don’t care if your dress, or lack thereof, cost $120 or that the lady at alterations “like TOTALLY screwed up and made it like wayyy to short,” you look like you belong at a Polish nightclub. Be classy! As Edith Head once said, “Your dresses should be tight enough to show you’re a woman and loose enough to show you’re a lady.”
DO: Dance. Unless you are from the town in Footloose you have no excuse not to be fist pumping and party-boying with your date on the dance floor. He didn’t come with you to spend the night having drunken banter in the comfort of the hotel lobby, he came to party! Whether he’s a fratdaddy you’ve been wanting to grind on or a goofy guy who you want to bust out the Bernie with, just let loose. Go kick off your shoes and get your groove on, girlfriend. Which leads me to my next tip of advice…
DO: Take off your shoes. As if heels were already hard enough to walk in when you’re drunk, dancing is completely out of the question. It’s like the person who invented them purposely wanted us to eat it right in front of our date and the rest of the formal-goers. But you, my friend, are smarter than that. The minute you’ve taken enough pictures where you look classy while having the heels making your legs look sky-high, take those suckers off. Throw them under your table and soak in the fact that while your other sisters are icing their feet tomorrow, you’ll be blister free. WARNING: Do NOT take off your shoes if your formal is being held at any type of bar/room where the floor could possibly be covered in spilled drinks and/or throw up. Also, make sure once your shoes have been taken off that you keep track of them, or else that’s $85 of new Jessica Simpson glory right down the drain.
DO: Eat the food. Your date knows you didn’t just have “a big lunch” and really, no one’s “allergic” to Chicken Parmesan, so stop with the excuses and eat your dinner already. It’s there, every sister around you, if their smart, is stocking up on those carbs to fuel them for a night full of dancing so just enjoy the mashed potatoes before the waiters come and take it back to the kitchen already. It’s probably delicious and you know while you’re nibbling on your side salad watching everyone else enjoy their steak that your mouth is watering so dig in already! And when I say “dig in” I also mean don’t forget your manners, you are a lady after all.
DO: Have fun! And you will be able to, if you follow all my Oprah-worthy advice! Just remember, college is only 4 years long (well 5, for some of you) and you’re only going to be having a limited number of dances so live it up while you can! Don’t worry about your date, don’t worry about your dress or hair or shoes just go and have a good time. You’re dancing and drinking with your best friends in the world, your sisters, and because of that nothing can bring you down. Remember that.