Whether you love Valentine’s Day or hate it, I think we can all agree there’s a lot of pressure to have a perfect date on Valentine’s Day or to be in a relationship when Feb. 14 rolls around. Believe it or not, it’s not the end of the world if your V-Day plans consist of you, Netflix and a box of pizza. It’s okay if you’re not head-over-heels in love by next week (and it’s okay if you are!) It’s also okay if you prefer food over a hot date, because let’s face it – food will never let you down. One food in particular that has never let me down? Guacamole.
Here are 11 reasons guacamole is better than a Valentine’s date.
1. Guacamole is cheaper than going out on a date.
Let’s say your date insists on paying the bill and you graciously accept. That still leaves all of the time and money you spent on making yourself look on point for the date: hair, makeup, a new outfit, and maybe you even got your nails done. Guacamole doesn’t care what you wear, so that’s zero time and $0 spent on your appearance. Yes, guac is extra, but no one is perfect.
2. Guac is easier to find than a decent date.
If you’re not already in a relationship, you’re looking at a vast sea of uncertainty when it comes to finding a decent guy to go on a date with this Valentine’s Day. But guac is pretty much everywhere, so you never have to worry about not finding any.
3. You can make guac but you can’t make a Valentine’s date.
I mean, I guess you could try, but there are probably about 100 different ethical and legal implications that would go along with that. Or you could end up stuck with a virtual boyfriend (a.k.a. a Sim). I’m no expert, but I think making guac would be considerably easier than trying to make a date.
4. Guac is delicious and flavorful.
Your date, on the other hand, could be bland and boring and leave you checking the clock every minute until it’s acceptable to dash out. You don’t even have to worry about that happening with guac because it’s always delicious.
5. There’s no awkward silences with guac.
And there’s no awkward attempts to fill the silence. Just the sound of chips crunching if you’ve paired the guacamole with tortilla chips.
6. You can eat guac wherever you want.
You don’t even have to leave your apartment or room if you don’t want to. Guac is perfectly happy keeping the date indoors. If you invite a Valentine’s date over to your place, on the other hand, they might get the wrong idea or make things awkward. Guac wouldn’t do that to you.
7. You can watch Netflix with guac without things getting weird.
Netflix with guacamole = casual and yummy without any funny business. Netflix with a date = potential funny business. If you’re not into “Netflix and Chill,” guac won’t try anything or try to pressure you into anything. Guac is happy just keeping you company.
8. Guac is good for you.
Human interaction is good, too, but what if your date is super awkward and stresses you out? Chances are, you’ll already be a little stressed about making a good first impression. There’s no need to worry about first impressions with guac and it’s the perfect stress reliever.
9. Guacamole goes well with chips, tacos, sandwiches – you name it.
Your date might eat all the chips or say something horrifying like, “I don’t like tacos.” You might as well just keep the guac and chips to yourself.
10. Guac won’t make you wait by the phone for a call or text.
Whether the date went really well or really badly, you’ll probably expect a text or call either way. But maybe your date decides to take his sweet time getting back to you or decides to play coy. Who has time for that? Guac, on the other hand, just sits in the fridge, at the store, or at a restaurant and calls out your name 24/7.
11. Guac will never break your heart.
Maybe you won’t be heartbroken after one date, but heartbreak is always a possibility when you enter the dating scene. When you enter the guac scene, you can expect nothing but happiness and a full stomach. Guac doesn’t break hearts; it mends them.
Whether you’re in a happy relationship and are planning on sharing your guac with your SO (a sign of true love) or you’re single and wish you had a date for Valentine’s Day, remember guac is always there for you no matter what happens on the 14th.
The verdict is in.
Guac > Valentine’s Day dates