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Why It’s Okay To Have High Standards in Relationships

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Hofstra chapter.

 

Seeing failed relationships, both from experience and from an outside perspective, I’ve learned a bit about what I want and don’t want in a relationship.

I used to think, “All I want is for someone to treat me well, is that too much to ask for?” But then I realized it’s not all about being kind. Let’s not forget we need the moral support, the fun/silly side, the same preferences, the romantic side, the soft side, the tougher side…it’s almost an endless list. And honestly, that’s okay, because it’s going to benefit you in the end.

First, we must know our self-worth. We need to put ourselves first every now and then, because you can’t please everyone. You need to check in and make sure you’re happy. If you’re not, you’re going to settle for someone who won’t make you feel special, and when everyone else knows you can do better, you won’t see it.

But then you get the added pressure with that dreaded question, “Why are you still single?” Sorry, I’m putting my education first and I don’t need someone to bring me down, but I’ll let you know when I find the one who doesn’t stress me out and makes me a better person.

No matter who’s dating whom, whom you’ve rejected, and who is nagging you about your future, enjoy your life first. If someone can’t see the amazingness that you hold, then they don’t deserve you.

Many of us have settled for something we thought was good. We worry with questions such as, “What if there’s no one else for me out there?” or, “Why doesn’t it seem like he likes me as much as I like him?” Well let me tell you something, it’s not you. If you’ve given 100% effort for something that isn’t there, then I can promise you it’s not a healthy relationship and you don’t deserve something so unhealthy.

So please, everyone who’s never felt like they were good enough for their relationship, know you deserve to feel special and loved. Make sure your partner knows just how great you are and don’t settle.

Make sure the one you’re going to be with not only cares for you, but also understands you. They can joke with you, be serious with you, know how to handle tough times, and enjoy anything you do together. Sometimes, you feel like you’re asking for a lot, but you’re not. You’re asking for what you know will help you stay happy and confident. No one should bring you down.

I mean, it may be a little unrealistic if you ask for Chris Evans, but don’t get too down on yourself, there’s someone out there for everyone. You may even land yourself a look-a-like.

So to anyone who ever feels like they’re aiming too high, aim higher. Let no one bring you down and hurt you. You are confident and strong, and you deserve nothing but the best.

 

Hi everyone! I'm 21 years old, studying Journalism with minors in Creative Writing and Marketing. Her Campus has given me place to write what I want, and I' so glad to share these articles with you!
Coming from a small town in Connecticut, Hailey is a recent graduate of Hofstra University. She spent her time in school working as the Campus Correspondent for the Hofstra chapter of Her Campus where she led the chapter to a pink level status every semester she oversaw the chapter. She also served as the Personnel Director for Marconi Award Winning station WRHU-FM. While holding multiple positions at Hofstra, she was a communications intern at Brooklyn Sports and Entertainment, the company that oversees Barclays Center and Nassau Veteran's Memorial Coliseum.