Being a twin is a choice that is made without any input or a “heads up,” but the benefits the pair reaps from the experience is a choice we make for ourselves. Growing up with another version of yourself means having a partner in class, having someone to talk shit about other people with, and having someone to worry about stealing your clothes. Some sets choose to continue this throughout their college careers; some choose to even live together and take classes together and study the same things. But if I had chosen that path with my twin, Carinna, I would have grown to resent her.
I chose to go to school in New York to study entrepreneurship and she’s in Maryland studying exercise science (both majors the other would never consider). We were never “best friends” or “inseparable,” but our humor and our independence is something we’ve shared for the past 18 years. Since we’ve moved, 45-second phone calls to tell quick stories about some douchebag at a frat party or getting a new job interview fill the empty parts of our day. Whether it’s because we’ve shared a room, or because we talk everyday, or if the “twin telepathy” concept is real, it’s become a relief to share these things with her because I know she’ll have empathy for how I feel.
Despite our ability to live comfortably 300 miles away, some moments are painful to watch from afar. Car accidents and trips to the hospital, things we normally would’ve been together for now turn into tense moments in our dorm rooms waiting for updates while feeling absolutely helpless. This is the luxury that the twins who don’t separate have: being together for the annoying parts, and crucial parts, of the other’s life.
When I was younger, I took being a twin for granted; I hated sharing Gameboy games and wearing matching outfits and being in the car with her for too long because of the “Mom, she’s touching me”s and “no I’m nots”s. Now we have matching Venn diagram tattoos, now we FaceTime before going out so I make sure she doesn’t wear an ugly outfit, and I still get so irritated with her, but now the biggest part of my identity is being a twin and I’m really incredibly lucky for it.