Running on Harvard Time: How to Make Time for a Relationship with a Busy Schedule

As the saying goes, nothing is official 'til it's Facebook official. And your Facebook profile says you're in a relationship.

Yet every time you rush through a meal in the closest D-hall, your friends acknowledge his absence by bombarding you with the same question—"Girl, where's your boyfriend at?"

And like usual, you simply acknowledge the question with an impartial wave, giving a rundown of the typical Harvardian's packed iCal. You point out that he's busy training for his crucial IM match that could make or break the Straus Cup win, trapped in his Hasty Pudding comp, or locked in the bowels of Northwest Labs with a tray of test tubes.

And you, ever the busy bee, have to rush through lunch in order to catch the redline if you're going to make it to your summer research interview at MGH, to crank out an article for the Crimson before deadline, or mentor students in Boston with PBHA.

But yet your friends simply won't stop pointing out the obvious—"You guys are so busy. Do you even make time for each other?"

Like usual, you try to wave this question away too.

But honestly, do you?

Face it, building a strong relationship takes time; too bad time is something the usual Harvard student lacks. Fear not though, we’re here to help you and your BF run successfully on Harvard time!

• Let's Get Real: Be pragmatic about your expectations for a relationship. You can't expect to spend every waking minute together. You're both leading very full lives, in and out of the classroom. This means that, unfortunately, there will be times when you'll be forced to fly solo. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you have to see him every single day. So yes, no matter how harsh this might sound, there might be a full 24 hours where you won't catch sight of him.
• Your secret weapons: Texting. Facebook. Email. Or the tried-and-true phone call. The key to any successful relationship is a wide and open channel of communication. Lucky for you, you live in the 21st century, where you have multiple channels at your convenient disposal. Let him know what's going on in your life, get into the habit of knowing what he's up to. It helps put cases of "OMG is he locked in the arms of some other girl?" to rest when you guys aren't together on Saturday night. And if you're going to be (in)voluntarily locked in Lamont cramming for a midterm one night, let him know in advance so he doesn't think you might be bailing out on him.
• Stay Involved: Is he stuck at a dress rehearsal for that pressing show next week? Show up to it! Do you have a game or tournament on campus this weekend? Invite him to come watch! Not only does this help both of you understand why you're busy, but staying involved with other aspects of each other's lives, even if you can't concentrate 100% on one another, still results in time spent together and inevitably leads to deeper mutual understanding of one another. Below are more ways you can squeeze time out for one another:
• If he's working late, show up with food! Not only will he be eternally grateful for bringing him something he's probably been deprived of and force him to take a quick break to spend some time with you, but it also shows him that you're thinking about him!
• Stick him a handwritten note in his textbook or have a friend pass him one from you during the middle of lecture. Utilizing this underrated and unexpected form of communication will be a welcome surprise.
• Walk him to his classes! Does he have a five-minute walk from his section in Vanserg to his lecture in Harvard Hall? Use those five minutes to take a stroll through the Yard together by escorting him in between those two classes.
• Never underestimate mealtime. So maybe the dining hall's pepperoni pizza isn't as good as grabbing a slice at Noch's, but we all have to eat sometime, so you might as well spend that time together to touch bases before the two of you rush off in different directions.
• Compromise: You can't have him work around your classes, your meals, and your designated free time, but the same also applies for you. Relationships require mutual effort, and it's not fair to force him to sacrifice more for the relationship or for you to work harder to go around his schedule. It's inevitable that the party required to invest more effort will pack up and leave if he or she doesn't see reciprocated efforts from the other side. Talk it through with him and agree that you'll both try to ensure that one side will not have to carry the entire burden.

Your title here...